Debt Support Group

OK - So I have a question about the holiday season - How much is to much?  I am trying to curb my spending and keep from using credit cards.  This will be a first for me.  My norm is to shop till you drop and owe for months.  I've already notified my kids that gifts would be few and we would instead make cookies, play games and spend time enjoying the day together.  This all sounds great, but as I start my season shopping, the want to purchase is there.  The feeling of guilt (I'm not sure why.) for not giving is present.

So, how do you determine a dollar amount and if, in the past I have told them as long as they believe in Santa he would come to our house, does he still come?  I should mention my kids are 20 and 21.  They totally SAY they believe in Santa, who wouldn't the guy has delivered much Christmas cheer.  Maybe some of you can relate.

Any and all ideas on the Christmas dilemma would be much appreciated.  Especially ideas on how to do something special without spending.  Oh, we do play hide the pickle in the tree.  It is a small ornament shaped like a baby dill, I got this idea from a German friend, you hide it in the Christmas tree and due to its shape and size can be hard to find.  The first to find the pickle gets a surprise.  It's a hoot!

Thanks for listening and sharing.  I love this site!

Kathie

I am sure this will not help you. But here is my story The second year we were married I got this Speigal book in the mail and an offer for a credit card to go with it. I can't remember the interest rate because that was around 39 years ago. But I remember ordering and ordering. I ran that bill up to like 1000.00 I got all kind of things for his family and my family and Michael who was only like three months old. And of course the house.

Well it took me like two years to pay that bill off. Some of Michaels little things was already falling apart and the curtains I bought had dry rotten from the sun coming through the window. I made up my mind then That if it went under the tree on Christmas day it had to be paid for. All these years except for last year they have been. Last year I charged Michaels present off line and didn't pay for it until Jan.

One year I made tie quilts for everyone another year I made this apron for my mother in law that had all these pocket in it. She was always saying that she hated picking up the house because she never had any pockets in her dress to put things.  I made a pillow for Michael to lay on floor with and watch TV with a Train on it. There were a lot of toys really nice ones that came from Goodwill. And a few things for our family came from there too. All new things mostly but like I said Goodwill fines and cheap.

We always did list 10 things and put it out under the tree. If it was a good year we spent more If it was a bad year we spent less. but we always kept the rule Everything that was under the tree was paid for on Christmas day.

I always  thought that was pretty good rule

Mary Ann

 

Thanks Mary Ann - I like that rule.  I am going to try cash only! When I was younger, all items were hand crafted, haven't done that in a while, maybe it is time to get back to basics.  Gift giving seemed more personal and loving. 

Kathie

Mary Ann,

I like your story.  I have one similar to it.  When my first daughter was born, we didn't know if we were having a girl or boy, and so held off on buying baby clothes.  It was January...she needed clothes.  So we went to May Company and I charged $150 worth of 0-3 month clothes.  (I think I was making $6/hr at the time, maybe)   My dear sweet daughter out grew the clothes before we even got the bill in the mail.  As unhappy as I was about it at the time, I learned a good lesson from it.  (One of the gowns was a Baby Dior...I am so not even into brands, so I didn't even notice, but my hubby did!)

To the original poster:

Shopping, in general is a difficult habit to get out of.  I shopped the most when I had no money.  It was something that filled a void, I think.  All of the Christmas lights, and the music playing in the background can quickly make you lose your senses.

What I do for my kids now is pretty much limit what I spend on them to $100 each.  Even this is high.  I've cut back on buying every relative a present.  I'm making my closest friends each a cherry pie to die for.  (Maybe a snowman apron also, if I find the time)  There aren't a lot of "things" that can be bought for me that would make a huge difference in my life.  I've learned that this is true of lots of people, not just me. 

I guess you just have to draw a line in the sand.  Buy what you can afford.   Make a list, have a plan.  Shop early, so that you don't overspend because of the stress of having to hurry to get everything done.

"Too much" is more than you can afford.  You need your financial stability MORE than anyone else needs more stuff.

Heather

Your kids are young adults. What can you afford to spend without using credit cards? What do you normally spend? One of our best holidays, we had no money, so had to get very creative. I remember my DH opening gift after gift and finally saying, "You said we didn't have any money!". I had only spent $50 on him by shopping at thrift stores for old books, a $10 shirt that he LOVED from K-Mart and a few other things. It was a lot of fun.

Teaching your kids to live within their means is a great gift. I encourage you to give them the insight to determine needs vs. wants and to enjoy life's simple pleasures.

The "guilt" is all commercially driven. People who make much more than you or I want you to feel guilty and spend, spend, spend.

Good luck.

Dee