discussion title:
ZHENIA, RE: your quesions about Mark ...
date:
12/10/1999 12:07 pm
ZHENIA, RE: your quesions about Mark "refusing" the breast in favor of the bottle, and others (m)
Here is a link to your original post so others can follow and respond:
http://boards.parentsplace.com/messages/get/ppbreastfeeding101/61.html
It is always ok to put the baby back to the breast, you can not bf too much. Even if you try to express some milk and get nothing, you can put the baby back on the breast, milk will be there for the baby. If you have been mostly bf and he is gaining and healthy then you don't need to offer bottles at all, your milk supply is sufficient. If he has been getting lots of bottles of formula ( more than 2 per day )you will have to cut them back gradually to allow your body time to make up the number of ounces he has be getting in the form of formula.
If he is fussing and you offer the breast and he refuses, try to calm him someother way, you don't have to run to get the bottles. This may be confusing him and giving the appearance to both of you that the bottle is preferred. Think about what happens, He fusses and he doesn't want the breast, you offer it and he refuses. You become upset at not being able to calm him (understandably) and you mistakenly assume he is not getting milk or some other problem with the breast. You then offer a bottle. You feel the baby is getting what he wants so you calm down, the baby feels you are calmer and thinks the bottle is the "right" thing too so he responds by also calming down. This then reinforces your idea that the bottle was what he wanted and you run to get it right away the next time he fusses, only compounding the impression that the bottle is working best.
I frequently use an analogy comparing chop sticks to forks when comparing bottles to breast. One is not harder than the other, the one that is easier is the one that you have used most in your life. But...like the bottle, if your host seems happier and calmer when you use the chopsticks you may also develop a preference for using them even if they are a little "foreign" to you. I hope this analogy was clear?
It makes me so sad that so many women are lacking in confidence about their ability to bf. We really live in a world that promotes the idea that bf is difficult and that many women can't do it well, that is why you feel unsure about it (it is NOT your fault). That is what is causing so many problems for women with bf, more than anything else. So be confident!!! Your body knows how to do this. Babies cry for many reasons other than hunger. It is always ok to offer the breast, but don't force it or feel as though there is a problem if the baby doesn't want it at that time. Try other comfort measures and offer the breast again later with a calm gentle approach. Get back on the board as much as you need for that confidence boosting the moms here are so good at providing
It is normal and expected that babies will bf more frequently at some times of the day and stretch feedings out at other times. Just follow your baby's cues and don't watch the clock. Most babies have at least one time of day when they cluster feed. The cluster feeding time is more commonly in the evening but can occur anytime. It is a time of day when the baby wants to bf almost non-stop and also like to have lots of attention from mom. Typically the cluster feeding time will be followed by a longer stretch.
Don't worry about working out. It will not affect the quality or quanity of milk.
If you have been giving lots of bottles of formula post back with the specific amounts and I will help you gradually decrease them if that is your goal.
Warmly,
Kathy
