First I want to welcome you to the board Janstar and congrats on expecting soon, it must be a very difficult decision you are faced with, but I feel compelled to clear up alot of misinformation that your friend Joie gave you.
"They say that your bladder gets weak and you will have that loose bladder (cough and pee/ laugh and pee/incontinence Depends) when you start to get older as a woman if you have vaginal delivery, and this is not the case with a C Section. You are as 'tight as a whistle' with the C."
you run complications of having injuries during surgery which can be permanent to your internal organs and complications for future pregnancies as well.
link below lists complications that can occur during a c-section birth.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ppcsection&msg=6427.1&ctx=16384
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ppcsection&msg=6429.1&ctx=16384
They say C its more risky because you are 'under the knife'. I think they are just trying to cover their BUNS.
you run risks of.....
maternal death, emergency hysterectomy, blood clots and stroke, injured from accidental cuts to nearby organs such as the bladder or bowel or ureter, longer time in hospital, infection, going back into the hospital or readmitted for complications, and pain for weeks , months and in some cases years post c-section. There are also added risks of anesthesia as well, allergic reactions and other complications to name just a few. Also check out the C-section Fact Sheet... http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ppcsection&msg=6886.1&ctx=0 It dispels fact from fiction.
Also, with the 'trauma' of vaginal delivery the babies lungs develop a little better sometimes (I guess a few more cases of babies comin out needing a littl oxygen/whatever for a while happens 'more' with C than V. But I mean, this is not a large number like one out of 2 you know? Not like a serious concern.)
one out of two is 1/2 of all babies born by c-section, how is that not serious. Alot of the problem with c-section births has to do with doctors delivering and patients wanting delivered the babies too soon. This causes pre term births, even a due date that is off by one week can cause a baby born one week too soon and lungs that are not mature enough and cause serious complications for the baby.
This is just stuff I learned recently in school. Its so hard to tell what kind of delivery you'd have. My advice: 'dont be a hero' just to have a vaginal delivery. Take the drugs! Labor sucks! If you can 'get out of it by getting knocked out DO IT!' Good lord, take it and run and have a 10 year old vagina until your 90!!! :):):):) haha
You won't be knocked out for a c-section unless it is an emergency, and in alot of cases emergency c-sections aren't done under general anesthesia anylonger, if a local won't take is another possibility for a general as well however general anesthesia is very rarely used, you will be awake and very aware of what is going on around you and to you.
Sitting on a heating pad is nothing when you've just pushed a watermelon out of there and they've cut and sewed your 'no mans land' up and every time you have to do #2 you feel like 'its happening all over again' and you just want to kill the man that did this to you and is anxious to get back in the sack again and you cant even get off the blow up donut you have to sit on for weeks and weeks!
you have the same anxiety after a c-section, the fear of straining that you will split your stitches open, you could rupture your incision, cause serious problems, one of the reasons why we on this board suggest, or should I say highly recommend getting laxatives and stool softeners for the first few bowel movements, mind you one of the complications of a c-section is bowel obstruction so hopefully no complications there.
Maybe I'm just had a bad experience. It was not beautiful! It was nothing like the books or the movies! IT WAS HELL!!!! :) haha
neither is a c-section experience, that is why it is a movie, it's Fiction. Link to article of recovery post c-section... http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ppcsection&msg=6885.1&ctx=0
As far as how long did it take me to recover...I think I'm still recovering!! :0 haha
They are gonna cut you/ episiotomy/ anyway so why not have it on your bikini line and leave YOUR SOUTHERN REGION ALONE!!!!! hahaha
I'm sure its obvious I have a biased opinion here. I feel very strongly about 'my experience'.
Recover is a minimum of 6 weeks, then the actual full recovery can take years to happen. Some of us have pain for years post c-section it just depends on the woman and the severity of the adhesions, scar tissue, she has. See the link above for much more information on recovery in the hospital and at home.
With a vag birth you have the choice to say no to a episiotomy any write a birth plan that will work for you to have the type of birth that you want with the outcome that you want. There are ways to avoid having medical intervention such as episiotomies, with a c-0section there is no other way to get the baby out.
In order to have the birth you want and the outcome you want have good communication with your doctor and write a detailed birth plan with your requests and demands in it, don't leave anything to chance, write it down and discuss it with a doctor, also have a doula or midwife and you will be much more likely to have a less medically interfered with birth then with just a doctor alone. Detail that you do not want a episiotimy unless it is a last resort.
this is the link to the c-section birth plan we have been adding to over the months... http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ppcsection&msg=6458.10&ctx=0
It was an absolute nightmare that really traumatized me to the point I would never go through it again-unless I could havea C section. Waking up all nice nice with the baby after getting knocked out-ignorance is bliss
Waking up all nice nice, what a laugh, you are in pain for 6 weeks, can't lift anything heavier then the baby for 6 weeks, no driving etc. Your fertility may or may not be the same again, you may or may not have serious complications, infections. etc etc.
I hope this helps! :)
And so do I, I hope this clears up all the misinformation that you were given. I have had 2 c-section and both of them were absolutely textbook perfect uncomplicated c-section births and recoveries, but you need to be informed of the actual risks that are involved with a surgical birth vs a vaginal birth.
Your friend has obviously been traumatized by her vaginal birth and has not worked through her emotional scars from the birth, you may also want to refer her the the negative birth experiences board here on Ivillage. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppnegbirth Her birth is obviously still traumatic to her so she may find some comfort there.
Good luck to you in your decision, having a c-section birth is not something to take lightly, it is major abdominal surgery that comes with major complications and risks. If there is anything else we can help you with, specific questions or concerns please don't hesitate to ask them, that is what we are here for.
Dionne
