Poets Workshop

The Blankness

When filled, does it cry –

ashamed to reveal itself,

envious of the margins,

eager to find

 a puddle to melt the ink

away.

Does it know the trite

thoughts filling its

s  p  a  c  e

mean zero, do

Zilch. Nada.

Nothing.  Just regurgitated

vocabulary seeking elusive

praise.

Does it mourn the expanse

cut down by

irrelevant nonsense. I wonder

As I swallow the page.

A. Godwin

Yep, women swallow.  We just had this conversation here.  Swallowing aside, the only thing I don't like (not a reflection on content, which is spot on, btw) is that dangling "do" because it reads as if a line is missing.  Should it read something like:

Does it know the trite

thoughts filling its

s  p  a  c  e

mean zero, do

zilch, nada, nothing

have meaning?  Just regurgitated

vocabulary seeking elusive

praise.

or would be satisfied with:

Does it know the trite

thoughts filling its

s  p  a  c  e

mean zero,

zilch. Nada.

Nothing.  Just regurgitated

vocabulary seeking elusive

praise.

Is it just me ... poets?

 

"It is with a strange malice / That I distort the world." 
 -- from The Weeping Burgher by Wallace Stevens

Profile Site of Patricia Gomes

 

            

You know me - I did ponder that dangling do, but I just couldn't make it go away.  I love the line alone 'mean zero do' by itself, and just didn't have the heart to change the linebreak.  I guess I'll see what everyone else here says though.  I trust you all way more than the kids in my class.  And I say kids literally.  Some of them have the potential for greatness, but most of them have the potential for nothing.  Literally.  I'm so tired of cliche.  Sofa King tired.

~Aubs (off to class now.  4.5hrs of bad poetry with minor glimmers of greatness.  I need a drink.)

I like it lots Aubs, the concept of the page having a mind of its own never entered my head until now.

I don't think you swallowed the page though, you wrung its neck and buried it.

And that is why I love you, Ray.  <3

~Smiley