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Need some advice...

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  21217.1
from:
  bostonvixen  Member Icon
date:
  7/9/2007 10:19 am
replies:
  5

Hi - I'm new to this board, but I was looking for some advice.
I have a friend who is much heavier that I - I don't want to offend anyone, I just don't know how else to describe her. She has started walking to help with blood pressure and the beginnings of a health plan and wants us to walk together.
My issue is that I'm in better shape and walk at a much faster pace when I'm fitness walking. I don't want to discourage her in any way, but I don't get much out of walking with her. We usually walk for about an hour, and after that I don't have time to do more intense stuff alone. I don't want to upset her by telling her that I need to move faster, and I know that what we do now is a definite work out for her.
Does anyone have any suggestions? All advice is appreciated.
Thanks, H.
 
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Need some advice...

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  21217.2 in response to 21217.1
from:
  cl-angrocamp  Member Icon
to:
  bostonvixen  Member Icon
date:
  7/9/2007 7:44 pm
replies:
  5

Could you maybe offer to walk together just once or twice a week and reserve the other days for yourself for more intense walking or other exercise? I'm not sure what else to suggest. It's a tricky situation. Do you think she realizes she's holding you back a bit? It may be frustrating and feeling tricky to her too. Good luck!

And welcome to the board! We're glad you've found us. Tell us a little more about yourself, if you don't mind :)

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Need some advice...

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  21217.3 in response to 21217.2
from:
  bostonvixen  Member Icon
to:
  cl-angrocamp  Member Icon
date:
  7/10/2007 8:52 am
replies:
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Thanks for the advice.
Hmm, more about me - well, I'm 29, I'm a Bostonian, I work as an office manager, and I'm working towards my master's degree. I'd like to own a dachsund some day, not married, and no kids.
I'm worried about my friend - she gets winded walking up too many flights of stairs, and she's mentioned that even our current walking pace is difficult for her. She descibes herself as "self-hating fat person" and I don't know how to deal with it. My mom has always been a round body type, but she has the best self esteem of anyone I know, is in good health, and is a Curves lady. I try to be supportive when we go shopping etc, offer opinions and what not, but if its me we're shopping for she talks a lot about the lack of nice clothing for her size. And I completely agree with her, but I can't help my size either.
I'm currently heavier than my happy weight as well, and so we're both trying to make changes. But its hard when she tells me that I have no need to be weight-conscious, and criticizes others.
She is a good friend and a lovely person, and I know her self esteem needs boosting, but how can I help her? I really and honestly don't "see" her size, but she points it out all the time.
 
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Need some advice...

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  21217.4 in response to 21217.1
from:
  cl-deeogeefan  Member Icon
to:
  bostonvixen  Member Icon
date:
  7/10/2007 4:44 pm
replies:
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Hi and welcome to the board!  I agree with Angie, walk with your friend a couple of days a week at her pace and the rest of the week do your usual routine.   In a few weeks your friend should be much stronger and able to pick up the pace a bit. 

I think it is wonderful that you are helping your friend get into a better place physically.  The support can really mean to world.

 

Carrollee

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Need some advice...

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  21217.5 in response to 21217.1
from:
  adrysmommy  Member Icon
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  bostonvixen  Member Icon
date:
  7/20/2007 3:46 am
replies:
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Hi there,
I am very new to this board as well. I think what you're doing for your friend is a great thing. It sounds like a tough situation that your in though. Maybe you could look at it this way: Good friends are really hard to find --- & from what I've seen pounds will come & go! Lol! So my advice is to just stick in there with her, sooner or later she'll be feeling great & you'll both be able to challege each other.

Good luck
Christina
 
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