Abortion Support

Sometimes life reminds you why you made the choices that you did. I just received a text from the father of the baby that I aborted. I loaned him money for school when I was carrying the baby and thought that I would have it. He's still paying it off, over a year later. He can't even keep straight how many payments he's made, is constantly late, and thinks I'm over-reacting when I want him to live up to what he told me he'd do to pay me back.

Thank goodness we never had that poor baby. I would have been tied to him forever. Not to mention the poor child growing up with that for a father.

Yup, it's never an easy choice, but sometimes it's the RIGHT one.

not sure I follow you...

you are obviously still emotionally and financially involved... so the abortion didn't end your involvement with this man...

and if the guy grew up and got his life together then abortion would be the "wrong" choice?

also... I think abortion messes guys up pretty bad too, they just show it in such a different way... or hide it very well-- maybe if you had the baby the guy would have stepped up, grown up, and paid his debts on time.

guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think abortion "right" or "wrong" should EVER be based on other people, especially the man or what the man does or doesn't do...

I'm glad if it makes you feel better, but things are rarely so black and white.

Bluer, the only emotional involvement is frustration when he's late with a payment. I loaned him money when I thought we were going to have a child in common. I shouldn't have. Now I'm stuck until it's paid back.

I can't say what his reaction would have been had we had a child. Maybe he would have gotten his controlling streak together, stopped treating me like "his" property, stopped wanting to be more important to me then the child I had, stopped with his drinking, stayed clean on his pot addiction, and changed his point of view that hitting children was okay. Maybe not. Not to mention he admitted trying to get every women he's ever dated pregnant.

In the meantime, I wasn't willing to risk my life and the life of the child I had on a "maybe" from someone I literally just met.

You sure had your reasons. I don't blame you.

Whether he would have stepped up or not post-baby, is not the issue... what I see is that a year later, you are still looking for external "reminders" to help solidify your belief that that you made the right decision. maybe you did. maybe you didn't. but I hope you know I respect your decision and I understand your reasons.

I just worry when the issue of abortion is presented by anyone as cut and dry. right/wrong, black/white.

I don't think it is.

All that said, frustration is still an emotional response and the debt that you continue to hold over him is a link to him-- why not just call it good and set yourself free? it'd be a great anniversary present to yourself to cut all strings to him, don't you think?

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