Abortion Support

I've been lurking for a few hours & finally decided to write.  I'm 22 years old and have been married to my husband for three and a half years.  We have a two year old son and a seven month old son.  After two difficult, high risk pregnancies, I knew I didn't want to be pregnant again for quite some time.  We took every precaution necessary, but obviously, that didn't work & just two weeks ago we found out that I was pregnant again.  I am definitely not ready for another baby, physically & emotionally.  I am pro-choice but never wanted to experience an abortion myself.  I do not fear that I will feel guilty or depressed after the abortion... I know that I will be a stronger person and a better mother to my other two children.

I am on this board, however, to find out more about the process.  The clinic in which the procedure is being done (this coming Friday) gives me the medical rundown of the process.  "They do this... and it should feel like this..." they say, but none of these women have had an abortion themselves.  Is it painful with the sedation (which I opted for)?  How long was the process?  Can I pick my sons up the next day?

Thank you all for being strong enough to post on this board to help other women like me..!

Welcome Bunny. I'm sorry you're in this situation, but I'm glad you've found the board. It's a nice place to be.

I didn't opt for sedation, it wasn't even an option for me, actually. Without sedation, they gave me advil and tylenol, and the pain was kind of crappy, but it was bearable. (Certainly not on the level of child birth!) After the procedure, my recovery was pretty uneventful. I went into a room and sat in a recliner with a hot pack on my stomach and ate some juice and cookies for a while. Then I was free to go.

That night I was crampy, but I kept alternating advil and tylenol. (Your body processes them differently, so it's not going to hurt you to take both of them, unless you have a special condition or something.) I thought it would be much worse than it actually was. I had a pad in, but that wasn't that bad even. (Again, not nearly as messy as after child birth.) The bleeding subsided after a week or so, and everything was fine.

As for being able to pick up your kiddos, I was picking my son up just hours after the procedure. (Like, literally picking him up.) I am a single parent, so there was no one else to help me. The only thing is, you'll notice if you strain yourself - and it will prolong your bleeding. Nothing too bad, just listen to your body and try to avoid any unnecessary strains if you can.

Good luck, and let us know if you have other questions.

hey bb,

I was completely asleep for my procedure and I'm thankful for that. The events and emotions surrounding the abortion and afterwards were hard enough without being aware of "the moment" itself. You say you're someone who never wanted to experience abortion so maybe being out for it might be a good choice.

Afterwards physically I was mostly fine, some extended bleeding (light bleeding for about 50 days which turned out to be some retained tissue) but mostly fine-- emotionally not so much. I started lactating and without the baby it was devastating. Can you imagine? I know I will never be the same again and that I've introduced enormous amounts of sadness into my life... in short, the guilt and sadness were much worse than I thought they would be... so I wouldn't be so sure you won't experience any negative emotions... you should know to expect some so you won't be blindsided. Everyone here will tell you they went through some kind of process emotionally, some faring better than others, but it is a journey of healing afterwards. Relationships suffer too, and a lot of them end. I would encourage you to seek out more information about what to expect emotionally.

I'm curious to know what the high-risk factors in your previous pregnancies were-- you had the babies and I assume you're all fine? they're there and you're healthy and sexually active... unless your previous experiences were nearly life-threatening or your marriage is crumbling, re-consider. It's just something you cannot ever take back. I also ask because the previous risk factors may also factor into the safety of your abortion-- you probably know, but make sure you tell your doctor all about that.

I don't know the whole situation-- only you do-- but I feel so sorry you're in such a situation... I wish you felt like you could keep it, but it sounds like you really did not want any more children--after you get through this I hope your husband will consider vasectomy or that you consider something permanent. Methods as you know can fail and abortion is just no fun.

I was and still am pro-choice, but it is a deeply flawed system that considers the long-term well-being of the woman least of all.

good luck with everything, if you have more specific questions, just ask.