My husband USED to be a good one to look at each item on the receipt and question why I got that etc...I started "loosing" the receipt on the way out of the store and when he would ask for it I casually said I dropped it at the store and did not feel like chasing it but he was more than welcome to go find it if he wanted...he scrutenized every item I pulled out of the bags, but he ended up helping put the groceries away...more so he could see what I bought but so what. never saw the real total. See I had written the check for 20.00 over and pocketed the extra.
The kids knew I was doing this, and at the same time I was clipping cupons and using the grocery game so he never really knew what I "saved" anyway if he didnt see the receipt.
So at one point I was going to three grocery stores getting the best deals and loosing the receipts or not getting them from the cashier and pocketing an average of 60.00 a week that way. I put the cash in a cookie jar on top of the cabinets. I knew it was safe up there because it would have cost him too much energy to climb up there to look. The kids knew it was there, they helped me put it up there, so if something happened to me they would know where some cash was should they need it. By this time they had caught up on to his bad money habits so they kept the secret well.
The next summer, the kids were wanting to do stuff, and he wanted us out of the house, but did not want us to spend any money...sorry there are only so many days of the week we can spend at the park...so we used that cash to do stuff and just never openly discussed what we did that day. When he would get jealous and invite himself on our trips, we would do something really expensive and he would pay...it really was a great summer for the kids.
Now my washer and dryer are out and I refuse to get new ones right now. first the basement is trashed and i refuse to allow anyone in the basement until it is clean. My husband is too lazy to clean it and I am too handicapped...meanwhile we do laundry at the laundry mat. I beep out 60.00 during the tight months and 80.00 during the busy months. It only costs between 40 and 50 dollars to do the laundry depending on how much we have to do...I pocket the balance and stash it in a savings.
One Saturday my husband was going to supprise me and have the laundry done before I got home. he gave my oldest 40.00 and dropped him and his brother at the laundry mat. Knowing my secret, he called his dad and told him they needed another 20. They didnt really need it but he knew he needed it to cost that much or my secret would be blown and I would hear "they could do it for this much blah blah blah"...so he conned his dad out of an extra 20.00 and pocketed it for himsef. I let him get away with it because he had homecomming comming up and needed some cash for stuff. I also gave him an extra 60.00 to cover his date's dinner and picture etc...he had a nice time without the money grumbles.
I think it is sad my kids are also managing to manipulate money out of their dad, but he deserves to let go of some of his precious money and the kids deserve the money for the chores and general life they live around here. No they dont get an allowance and they are in their teens. I keep telling him they need their own money to learn money skills but he ignores me. His mom gives them a check for their birthday and makes it out to him because he told her I would just spend it on myself and the kids would get nothing. What he does is cashes the checks and makes the kids beg to be able to buy stuff and ulitmately they might get to spend 1/10 of the money and he claims they spent it all. No he spent it on himself and doesnt have it to replace so he lies.
I dream of the day we can be out of here, have our own money and I can teach them money management. Unfortunately my oldest is now 18 and will probably have to learn from the school of hard knocks, but hopefully there will be time to teach the other two.
sigh. Why do they have to believe they are Gods with money and everyone else is clueless.
My husband is awesome with taxes, helps his clients stay right with the IRS and helps them make good sound financial decisions regarding their finances. However, our finances are in the toilet and I keep hearing him tell me his clients are more important than we are. Just today, my 13 year old daughter is running a feever, sore throat and threw up in his car on the way to school. I had jury duty and we all know you cannot get out of jury duty. He could not take her to the doctors for strep test (even though just 3 weeks ago we went to memorial services for a 14 year old girl we knew who died from strep) because he had pay roll taxes to deliver. I suggested he stay home with her and his clients come to him and he told me that was impossible he had to deliver them...other occasions I have suggested he get a seasonal job to get us through the holidays and the short months and he told me "I cant do that because I have to be available in case my clients need me"...he littlerally has them call the house as late as 11 or 12 at night and on more than one occasion we are awaken with calls at 4 and 5 am...I keep telling him this is unacceptable and i get blown off...he expects us to stay off the phone incase a client might try to call or fax something, we cannot have TV or radio on because it disturbs him while he is on the phone yet his tv or music is very loud and irritating for us to listen to because it is just lound enough for us to hear some but not clearly so we can enjoy it. the kids have to talk in hush voices in case he is on the phone etc.
I did blow and told him this is a HOME not an OFFICE if he wants office conditions go get himself an office and let us have our living room back. I have quit trying to keep the kids quiet, and when they break out in an argument I sit and HOPE he is on the phone with someone. I also have been known to un plug the phone as i go to bed to keep it from ringing so the only calls he gets is on his cell phone. His cell phone shares minutes with the rest of us and we are constantly being hastled about using up all the minutes. I did look once at the bill, I used maybe 20-30 minutes of our 700 and the kids were about the same. He was raging about US going over the minutes and costing extra. I showed him that 700 divided by 5 people allowed each of us 140 minutes each. we did not use even 40 minutes and HE was the one who went over...believe it or not, he told me I did not know what I was talking about, the charges were on my phone number (they were not)...so now I am looking to find a way to seperate our cell phones from his so he can have his precious minutes and we wont use any of his minutes....
Sorry, just venting more stuff I guess, I started to just make comment and found myself rambling...I really needed it and it is good to have it down to remind me later. Thanks for "listening".
Kat
