Alcohol, Addictions & Recovery

I have been sober a few years, and it never fails to amaze me that I have so much to learn!  In fact, the more I learn about myself and life, in general, the more I need to know!  I still have that built-in "forgetter" that I hear about in AA so often.  I can hear the same thing 100 times, and then forget!

I have been in several situations in which I have been teary-eyed, trying to control, irritable, discontent, annoyed, and just plain wanting my way.  Of course, it didn't hit me until I had spent a number of days sitting in these feelings and wondering why I was so unhappy!  I prayed to my H.P. to help me and in His own way, and in His own time - He did.  The realization hit me as I was staring in the mirror, that I was once again, trying to be the director and "run the show!"  I was not accepting certain situations for what they were - I thought that "my way" was the best.

Today I am letting go and letting my Higher Power guide me - again.  When I step back and let Him be my guide, I never, ever, ever fail to feel better and gain new insights.

I choose to remain teachable today - my way does not work!!

Whew!

Thank you islandchild, I almost started a similar thread myself but you so perfectly wrote what I was feeling:

Today I am letting go and letting my Higher Power guide me - again.  When I step back and let Him be my guide, I never, ever, ever fail to feel better and gain new insights.

I choose to remain teachable today - my way does not work!!

--------------

I am reminded of that so very often.  I had this "perfect" 5 day weekend planned last week, alas, colder temps and myself coming down with a cold and that perfect weekend never happened.  I did pray, and I did remember, I am powerless over the weather.

I battle depression and anxiety, which most times, if I concentrate on the 12 steps and my own religious beliefs, I can manage quite well.

I am signed up for a 72 hr womens' retreat through my church starting this thursday when I am picked up at 5pm.   It is at a campground, and a lot is kept secret on how they manage to get you to 15 talks, many women sharing 4 showers, sleeping with strangers in bunk beds, and eating meals when you have no clocks there to know what time it is.  I catch myself starting to fret on this, that and the other.

Then I come back to the steps, and I choose to let God led me.  This whole signing up for this is His plan, I wanted this October one, was told it was full, then told there was 2 spots so me and the other lady from church could go.

I have heard such powerful things about this Emmuas walk.  A man at church forgave the Dr that he feels mishandled his son's illness that led to his death.  A woman forgave and finally made peace with a former physically abusive husband.

If I just allow God to led me, all of life is so much better.   Acceptance, boundaries and trust that God sees the big picture and when I ask for things and the answer is NO, there is a reason. 

My perfect 5 day weekend didn't happen, but instead I got lots of rest, and was able to help my husband winterize the boat vs. him trying to do it alone which wouldn't have been very wise given his own health constraints.

God loves me so very much, and I need to hold onto that truth 100%.

Thanks again islandchild for saying what I was thinking,  hugs, Josie.