Hi all, Haven't been here in a long while but something happened to me today. My s/o's best friend was getting remarried and this judge says hello to everyone else but me. He purposely ignored my son and I, and this was when I was going to say, "You biased bastard!", but instead I mumbled something to my s/o stating that the judge is biased and did not like it. I felt left off, it's already bad when you end up not being included in the ceremony, but to have a judge purposely ignoring you.
When we were in the courtroom, my son was running around and I tried to catch him during the ceremony and he started talking loudly and I sushed him telling him to calm down. When he was calm, I looked at the judge and rolled my eyes at him. Then when it was all finished, we walk out of the courtroom and I tried to state my anger towards the judge so he could hear me, and he only stared at me with suspicion. I now feel anxious and highly bothered by how I reacted. I took my Lamictal 250gms this morning and I need to take my Zyprexa 20mg tonight. I should have not acted that way, especially when I am with my son. I wish I could take it all back, I just hope I don't ever see that judge anytime in my lifetime. I just don't know why I felt so ignored and being treated like a wallflower.
Maybe because I am going through pms right now and also because I have had a bipolar moment. Why couldn't I control my emotions when I needed too. Does anyone else sometimes go into a fit, even when you are on your medication and take it like you are supposed to? I need to figure this out so I don't do this again...
