My mothers mind seems to be fine, but with having less quality to her life she seems to be getting older fast. I quit my job a couple of years ago to help care for my mother in law with cancer and she was so much nicer then my mom. She was in her late 60's when she passed and then we found out my mom had cancer, so I stayed home to care for her. Having her next door is very helpful. After the difficulties we had after all the treatments things evened out and my mom seems good. She can't get out of the house without help, but gets around her home in a wheelchair. She hates this. She is in no pain and takes no medicine now except tylenol for a headache. She eats well and could make easy meals, but refuses to because she says she wants me to wait on her, then she complains about what I cook or that I don't know how to cook it right. She is so negative that it is depressing to visit and some days I dread it. She has no friends because she wants none. She hates everyone and everything. My 12 year old is the only thing she speak positive about and likes for her to visit. Mom also has a dog that she adores, but refuses to feed and insists that he get fed at 6 every night. If I am late she makes a fuss. She tells me how I never do anything for her and I am lazy. She plays my brother and me against each other. I have a wonderful brother and we communicate daily. He tries to visit 2-3 times a week and cooks and cleans on those days. She hates hospice and can be so rude to them that I am embarrassed. We really need them for occasional medicines, visits to the hospital, monitering her health, and a bath each week. Mom has a kidney stint for her one working kidney, but her bladder is gone. Hospice is very good and understanding. If someone black comes out she calls them the n word and will tell them to get out of her house. My husband is very understanding especially because of his mom and pushes me to visit my mom as much a possible. My mom hates him also though. And why? Because he is overweight. So caring for my mom can be very stressful and draining. I use to want to move her into our extra bedroom, but don't want to put my family through her hatefulness. I try to rationalize that she is just angry about getting cancer, but she has showed a lot of these feelings about others through the last 20 years. So it is not new. She just makes it very clear how she feels about people now. Sorry this is so long. Just venting some more.
