I'm a 35 year old (stay at home) mother of two. I'm trying to run my own household and take care of my 65 year old father, as well. My father is legally blind, mildly retarded, and has a handful of other health issues. My husband and I take him to the grocery store twice a month, we also take him to his doctor appointments, and just about anywhere else he needs to go. I take care of everything for him except for his day to day personal care. He is still able to live alone, which he does.
It's getting more and more difficult to deal with my father. I see a confrontation between my husband and my father brewing. Sooner or later my husband is going to tell him off and there won't be anything I can do about it. I've been trying for weeks to keep the peace between them. It's quickly coming to a head, though. Just taking my father to any public place, grocery store, doctor's office, lab, etc., is an ordeal. He makes a scene most of the time and generally acts like a pain in the rear end. I have told him if he makes a scene at the doctor's office one more time I'm not going to take him anymore, that he'll have to find another way to get there. So far so good ~ he hasn't made a scene there for awhile.
The issue my husband has with him is that he wants nothing to do with us unless he needs/wants something. My father doesn't speak to me until a day or two before he needs a ride somewhere. Then he calls and acts all friendly, but what he's really doing is making sure we're going to take him where he needs to go. I don't drive, so I have to rely on my husband to drive my father to his appointments and such. My husband is ready to put a stop to the "taxi service" as he calls it.
I'm not happy about the way my father acts or about him using me, which is really what he's doing. However, as I am constantly telling my husband, if I don't do these things for my father, no one else will. I could easily tell him we're not taking him to the grocery store or the doctor anymore, that he needs to find another way to get where he needs to go. But, he won't. If we don't take him to the store or the doctor or whatever, he just won't go. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him because he stopped taking his meds, going to the doctor, etc.
There is no one else to do things for him. My brother and sister are pretty much worthless and I can't afford to pay someone. I don't know what to do.
