Children of Alcoholic Parents

WOW!

I'm sorry I'm just jumping in, but I have to say its wonderful to hear people like yourselves give eachother soo much support. I read the above game/link and its all positive and beautiful. I wasn't aware a place like this existed. I thought people just learned to deal with situations like this on their own, like myself. Just wanted to let you guys know that. I just happenned to be looking aroud and found this message board it sounds like a great place to be. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. Its been really had for my mom and my sisters and myself. I dont have much time now, but I will be back later on today.  Again I'm glad there is a place where there is someone like myself.  =)

Anger - we have to learn to control the anger we feel for the childhood lost

Betrayed - we must accept that being betrayed by your alcoholic parents is a part of your life and accept and go on.

Calm - seek peace, seek tranquility in your life

Detach - we have to detach to survive

Emotions - we have to figure out what they are and how we are ruled by them

Faith - we must trust in ourselves and our tremendous ability to survive

Grow - we must grow to love ourselves with all the flaws we know we have developed over the years

Mary

Mari,

welcome to our board! I hope you will be back and that we will get to know you. Thank you so much for your kind and sweet words.

I have always felt very much understood and supported here and have found some great and dear friends.

Welcome again.

I- INDIVIDUALS and INSTINCTS...

In Recovery, we learn that we are all INDIVIDUALS, with our own feelings, needs, desires, opinions, likes/dislikes, and INSTINCTS. We should honor ourselves as INDIVIDUALS, and we should honor our own INSTINCTS. They won't steer us wrong for the most part, unless we are under the influence of alcohol/drugs. Codependency (a condition most of us ACoAs have) causes us to ignore our INDIVIDUALITY and our own INSTINCTS, and to put too much importance on what others think and how they feel... This is NOT GOOD! However, Recovery teaches us how to begin trusting ourselves, trusting and honoring our INSTINCTS, and to stop the dependence on others. It teaches us to value ourselves instead of basing our feelings of self-worth on others' opinions of us. It teaches us to honor our own needs instead of always putting others' needs/desires ahead of our own. It isn't selfish... There is a big difference between SELF-CARE and selfishness. We have a right to be ourselves, to create our own "normal" and to take care of ourselves.

Love & Hugs, Minnie