Depression Support

I am going to start winding down therapy in a couple of weeks.  I have been going once a week for two years, and my therapist and I have agreed that most of my major issues are resolved or managable, and we're starting to repeat ourselves.  I will be going twice a week for a while, then once a month.  We plan to end it in the early spring, unless I need a "tune-up" now and then.

My question is:  how do other people get through ending therapy if it has been very helpful and successful?  I'm by no means a paragon of mental health, but the difference between now and two years ago is profound.  When I started, it was just supposed to be 12 weeks of cognitive behavioral therapy, but it morphed into something much more long-term.  I have been in therapy twice before, and it ended abruptly both times.  This is very different.  My current therapist is great and I am very fond of him.

How to end it without a lot of pain, or is that impossible?  This guy got me through my last year of work, helped me save my marriage, helped me to finally deal with my family..........the list goes on.  I know all about transference and the fact that he is not my friend but a professional, yet it still hurts a lot.

I know I won't get a step-by-step primer on how to end the relationship, but maybe some of you can share how you managed this.  Thanks!

Deb

Hi Deb:  I started seeing my therapist August 2002 and I still see her, however a lot of times it is 4 to 6 weeks inbetween appointments,  even at my worst I never saw her more than once a week, then every 2 weeks and we have weaned it down to where it is now. 

Eliz is around 74, and I think as long as my insurance pays the majority of it and she is in practice, I plan on popping in every couple months just so I stay on track.

I don't see it as a weakness, and I don't feel we repeat ourselves as being as I still work, I can always talk on my work stress, my birth family that still pushes my buttons.

Why not leave the option open when you get to next spring to keep stopping in every 6 to 8 weeks?

take care, Josie.

Thanks, Josie!  Yes, we are going to reduce it to every other week and then once a month, and then as needed.  He reassures me that he's not going anywhere.  One time I saw him twice in one week, when I had been in the emergency room because I was so depressed.  He is my third therapist in about 30 years and the only one I have stuck with.  I think there's been one time in two years that I didn't want to go to my appointment.  I pay only a $15 co-pay each time, so he's also the bargain of the century!  When I first started I was in a really bad way, and I realized that he is about 15 years younger than I am, so I thought, "What can this young guy tell me?"  However, he has been superb and I am much better.  I now understand that you have to be a good match with your therapist for the therapy to work.  From day one, I told him I was in it for the long haul.  It's going to be tough to taper off.

Thanks for your response!

Deb

Hi Deb,

I'm so glad that therapy has helped you so much! I've been in therapy twice (am in it now), and I know how great it feels to have someone who is consistent, always on your side and whose only mission is to understand you and help you feel better. I think you should remember what your therapist said about not going anywhere - he'll always be there should you need him. And you should be extremely proud of yourself for the progress you've made and view leaving therapy not as an end but as a beginnging: it's an opportunity for you to build on the great progress you've made and become more self-sufficient. So don't lose momentum now - you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Should you need to go back to your therapist, he'll always be there. But imagine being able to help yourself get through your difficulties (and maybe even prevent them) without having to rely on someone else - how great will that feel?!!

Also - I have a question. I've been undergoing interpersonal therapy both these times, and it makes me feel a lot better to talk to someone, but I don't know if it's really moving me forward all that much. Have you done interpersonal therapy? Does anyone have ny thoughts on one vs. the other?

-Christine