Depression Support

Hi Everyone,

I'm kind of new here and I'm having some problems with depression. I honestly don't know when it started or what caused it to start. I just have such a hard time getting out of bed in the morning and going to work. Pretty much everyone in my life is upset with me. My husband gets upset because we need my paycheck to help pay the bills. I haven't worked a full week in months and lately, I've been missing at least two days a week. I either miss work because I just can't get up and go or I have a migraine. I was seeing a counselor. She was the same one that I saw years ago for my panic attacks, but I don't think that she is helping me. She is so insistent on divorcing my husband. I want to know how to get better and although he isn't supportive right now he can be. I want to know how I can get better. Ever since she mentioned me and my husband getting a divorce I can only think if that would make everything better, but I know that I have more going on than that. Yes the fact that he doesn't belive that there is something wrong with me, bothers me. I am just so down about everything in my life right now. I am 30 lbs overweight, have a hypothyroid problem, I get migraines and I have periods that last two weeks. I don't like going to work because all of my clothes are too tight and I feel like everyone is staring at me. My best friend at work just gave her two weeks notice on Tuesday so I don't even feel like I have anyone there that I can talk to. I don't like the way I look, or the way I feel so it is easy to stay in bed with my dogs. When I feel good, everything is perfect, but when I can't get out of bed, I think that I would be better off leaving my husband so that he can find a better wife. But I can't afford to be on my own and I don't want to run away from my problems. I am going to try to get in to see a new counselor and hopefully she will be able to help me. I just need to get all of this off my chest since I can't talk to anyone else.

Thanks for listening and please feel free to offer any advice.

Chris

Welcome to the board Chris!

I'm sorry you're therapist isn't helping you the way you think she should be and I agree that maybe it's time to see someone new that you can click with better. 

We have some good tips for dealing with depression on a day to day basis but I wonder too if you've talked to your doctor about your migraines and if you're being treated for your thyroid disorder.  Sometimes it helps to make sure that your current medications are working and the thyroid levels are where they need to be.  Also, making sure you get out and get some exercise, even if it's just a walk around the block, can be helpful as well.

(((hug)))

Chris, please do work on finding another therapist.  I am here to tell you that the right one does exist.  I was in unsuccessful long-term therapy twice before and I was so fed up I said I would never try it again.  Well, I had a crisis and I've been with my third therapist for two years now, and he has been superb.  He's helped me so much; in fact I'm at the point of tapering off gradually now because I'm much better at dealing with my demons.

I must tell you:  NO reputable therapist would tell you to do something like divorce your husband.  They are not supposed to tell you what to do; they are supposed to help you determine what YOU really want and need.  I identify with you so much because my first therapist told me the exact same thing.  I have since learned that my problems are my own and that no marriage is perfect.  I even got separated from my husband back in 1980 on her advice.  This past June we had our 36th anniversary.  Do not take the word of one therapist.  If it is right for you to get a divorce, you will realize it on your own.

I really sympathize and I know it will take energy to find a better therapist for you, but believe me when I say it is worth it.

Deb

I agree that it would be helpful to find a different therapist. Also, does your DH understand how serious this is for you? Even if he doesn't believe it's a real affliction, does he at least have an idea to how much you are hurting? My DH didn't have a clue and was unsupportive until I mostly had a breakdown. I was hurting and preparing to leave my family. Then he realized how severe my pain and feelings were. Even if he didn't understand why, he finally understood that he needed to comfort me. I hope you and your husband can find some common ground. Also, about the migraines...are you anemic? I used to have very bad migraines until I discovered that I was not absorbing iron in pill form. I knew I had chronic anemia. When I started taking a liquid iron supplement (like Floradix) my migraines stopped.

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