Depression Support

So.... I've been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of past sexual assault and an abusive relationship, and I got attacked this summer which re-triggered the PTSD. Right now the hardest part of the PTSD is the depression element.

It's back again and I just hate this so much. Today is my Bday and I can't even get out of bed. It's been like this all weekend. I'm in law school but I can't get to class or study ever and I feel like I'm ruining this opportunity I worked so hard to get, but I just can't make myself care. And then when I think how much I'm ruining everything by falling behind I get so anxious and just want to stay in bed even more.

And it's the same thing regarding relationships with friends and my bf- as lonely as I am I don't know how to be around them and I push everyone away and only say negative things. My bf is sad watching me cry all the time, and I know it's wearing on him. He's been taking so much time from work and neglecting so much in his life trying to help me that he's worried he'll get fired from his job soon and he's lost like 20 lbs. It doesn't help that I want him around all the time and feel panicky when he tries to have a life of his own.

I keep asking myself what the point is- if every day is just going to be so heavy and hard and lonely... I just can't see any light. I've been in this place before and gotten out but I can't remember the "normalness" now or even see that it's going to come.

I'm at such a low point I don't know what to do. I'm hoping writing this will help. I'm seeing my psychiatrist on Weds and a psychologist who I've seen 3 times before on tues or thurs. I just need help getting through this very low and very dark part.

Have you considered anti-depressants? I am so sorry that you are feeling that way you are. For me, when it got to the point where I could not make myself care about anything anymore, that is when I asked for anti-depressants. It has worked wonders for me. I feel like I have woken up to the world again. I hope your meetings help, it is very good that you are talking to someone.

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I am definitely going to ask for them at my next psychiatrist appt. I'll try anything to not feel so alone.

My boyfriend just broke up with me. I don't know anyone in this city. It feels like there is no reason for me to do anything anymore. I'm just so so so so sad and lonely.

I am sorry about your break up. Things can and will get better. The meds will really help. Is there a support group in your area you can talk to? A college campus counselor? Someone that might be able to get you in touch with people to be around?

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