Depression Support

Hey everyone/anyone. I'm a 20 year old girl who has been suffering from depression for about a year now. I'm suppossed to be a junior in college this fall semester, however I left school last year (after my freshman year) and have not been able to return since.

I've been seeking professional help for about six months now. I'm taking Cymbalta (and thinking about switching to Wellbutrin) and I am seeing a therapist as well. Before I was pretty much paralyzed by my depression I was a really outgoing, joyful person. I worked hard at most things and enjoyed doing so. I don't know why I've been so depressed and it does not feel like I'm in control. This loss of control was something new to me last year, and I did some weird things. I got rid of a lot of my clothes. I stopped talking to my friends. I had (and still have) no will to leave the house or to try taking on school or my social life.

It is so hard to get up in the morning and even with the help of my doctors I am still not healed. I've made a few friends (some were friends of my friends that know what's going on and others I met through my college mental health organization). These two girls have told me that depression takes time to heal and that they had to go through many many months of tweaking medications and such to finally feel better.

It's so hard to get through the day. I don't have clothes and I don't feel good enough to shop so I stay in sweats mostly. I'm sometimes late for my once a week therapy appointment because I find it so hard to will myself to leave the house. I was really late today and even though my therapist and I have an amazing relationship she was really annoyed with me. Do you guys sometimes dread going to therapy (the actual action of GOING)?

:sigh: I've been reading through this forum for about a week and today felt like the day to begin posting. I wish all of you the best and I'm looking forward to hearing about other people's experiences with this dreadful illness.

Welcome!

I don't think what you're feeling is all that unusual with depression, though I'm sorry you're feeling it.  It does sound like maybe it's time to try a different med or combo of meds, there are a lot of them out there and some work better than others for certain people. 

Stick around here and post often, the members here are so supportive and welcoming and many have been in the situation you're in now.

Thanks for your reply...

My name is Aimee, too =).

Hi Aimee-

I am sorry to hear that your having such a rough time.  Your not alone, I hope you know that!  Many of us don't feel like getting out of bed or going to therapy.  Is there anyone who could take you shopping to get a few new cloths?  Maybe it could be your weekly goal or something, just an idea.

What does your therapist think?  Please don't be offended by me asking if you have ever been hospitalized?  It sounds like you have severe depression and maybe that would help?  I gave in after years of depression and checked myself into the hospital back in July.  It was so so helpful for me.  I met other people who felt the same way I do.  I was embarrased and ashamed to go, but I knew I couldn't live this way anymore.  Anyway, I am so glad I went.

Feel free to email me anytime you want to:  sunset5000@yahoo.com

Again, I hope I didn't offend you, just trying to think of things that may help with depression.

-Heidi

No, I don't dread going to therapy.  I've been going to a clinical psychologist for a little over 2 years, and I don't dread it because I realized that I had finally found the right therapist after 2 previous long-term attempts with other ones (one was a social worker and one was a psychiatrist).  When I started seeing my current therapist in 2007, I told him that I wasn't leaving until I felt that the therapy was successful.  I was in such a bad state then that I was afraid I would have to retire on disability.  I'm now seeing him every other week and then will go to once a month due to major progress.  I have always looked forward to therapy, because it's been the one place where I can be totally honest and know that this person is on my side.  It's amazing the kind of stuff you can talk about when you trust the other person.

I think that after you go to therapy for a while, you will come to know whether or not you are seeing the right person.  If you are sure you don't like him/her, try to find another one that you "click" with.  It's worth it, believe me.

Deb