Substance Abuse Problems

I am so sorry. You do need to let go and let him take the consequences for his actions. If he won't go to a lawyer and has legal problems, well then, he will not fair well if they come to court.

You may need to take a drastic step. You may need to call the police yourself on him. If he is using, growing or storing pot in your house, you might be able to be charged with possession also. You need to check with a lawyer about that.

Please get counseling with someone who knows about the effects of substance abuse on a family.

For many people, the bottom of their addiction doesn't come until they have lost a lot more than things.

HI... wow sounds like your in a bind. My first suggestion to you would be to get on the phone and call the narcotics anon or alcoholics anon and ask where and when is the next NARCANON or ALANON meeting. This should be the first step you take. The people there will help and guide you in what steps need to be taken with your son. Plus usually there are people there who live near you you can call up on the phone. ya know??? support somewhere in your neighborhood. Call the NA or AA hotline and then ask about narcanon meetings or Alanon meetings . Don't be afraid to go in these people are all in the same spot u are in or used to be in the same spot your in.

My mom had the guilt thing with my brother. he could say some of the meanest nastiest things to her . He could make her feel so dang guilty. Its so hard for a parent to be impartial cause really you don't want your child to have pain. Who does? BUT I have learned that through my baby brothers overdose death in dec. 2006 that I cannot protect my children from pain. Pain is as much a part of life as joy and happiness. I've learned that I must NO LONGER even with the best of intentions try to protect them from sadness. I see now with my much clearer vision after my brothers death, that as a family we tend to give off this belief that our lives will be much happier if we distract ourselves from sadness. And until something cataclysmic happens a loss above all losses- that the buried sadness from all the other losses in our lives we haven't dealt with rises to the surface like a pimple on a teens face. <--- ewww I know gross lol

ya know just finding ways to help my kids when they are sad or hurt or whatever is such a nice way to teach them rather than saying I'll get u a treat if your happy now or lets not think about that or BE strong. These very saying are the ones that have taught us not to be sad grieve really deal with a hard emotion to deal with. If like our family we tended to drink or do drugs to get rid of the feelings we have been told to not show or to ignore. My sis n I made a pact to stop that way and teach our kids that sadness, hurt feelings etc are just as much a part of life as the good. And we really stress not ignoring the sadness. Its all a part of life as we know it.

All we have is right here, right now. If you feel something, and you have the opportunity to do so - SAY IT. The uncomfortable way it makes you or your loved one feel will pass. I promise you - it's a far better thing to spend a few akward moments professing love or forgiveness or humility, than to spend eternity wishing with all your broken heart you had, but didn't. All we can do when they're gone is hope and pray that they knew, and that they took that knowledge with them. This is my fondest wish for my brother. I loved him fiercely, with all my heart, and I still can't get through an hour without breaking down. I miss him so.

I hope you find the strength in your heart to be able to confront your son when you know which way and how to go about it. I wishh you luck and success with your son.

(((HUGS))) Steff

http://christopher-conger.memory-of.com/