advanced search  |  outline view  |  invite a friend  |  folder view  |  about the boards

Eating Disorders: Anorexia & Bulimia

56029 messages posted to this board • 4 messages posted today
find messages about   
log in
welcome!
 
next discussion >
add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

I am being watched!

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  14917.1
from:
  cl-promiseplease  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-5 2:46 pm
replies:
  14

Every mouthful of food I eat, DP wants to know how much and what is going into my mouth.  I know he means well and I have lost a little weight recently but he's driving me crazy!  Does anyone else feel the same about having their food intake watched so closely?

Promise

Promise 

 

send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
mzjulez  Member Icon
add to friends
ignore posts
re:
 

I am being watched!

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  14917.2 in response to 14917.1
from:
  mzjulez  Member Icon
to:
  cl-promiseplease  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-5 9:06 pm
replies:
  14

Yes! It does me no good when I'm being scrutinized. It's understandable being concerned. I think there's a fine line between being overly concerned and being supportive. If ppl didn't notice at all I'd be upset. However, when they do notice it bothers me too. I don't wanna be watched. I want support. I'm just kinda unclear on how I wanna be supported though.
Photobucket
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
add to friends
ignore posts
re:
 

I am being watched!

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  14917.3 in response to 14917.2
from:
  cl-promiseplease  Member Icon
to:
  mzjulez  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-6 3:32 pm
replies:
  14

You put into words exactly how I feel.  I need DP's support but I am not sure in what way.  I know he does it because he really cares about me but it also feels like he is controlling me which is why I restrict, because I need to regain control over myself.

Promise

Promise 

 

send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
add to friends
ignore posts
re:
 

I am being watched!

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  14917.4 in response to 14917.3
from:
  pookiekins
to:
  cl-promiseplease  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-6 7:53 pm
replies:
  14

Ugh, I call that being "food policed".  I HATE IT.  My mother is a classic example of a food cop.  When she does it, I stop what I'm doing and say "Being observed so closely while eating does NOT help.  In fact, it makes me want to restrict even more, so that I can feel more in control.  I understand your concern and your desire to help, but you must back off and leave me be with my food.  What you can do to help me that will make me feel strong and valued is to tell me how proud of me that I am working on my issues, and remind me that you love and care about me as often as possible."  Seriously, your partner is there to be a person of support and encouragement.  Your partner is NOT your therapist or dietician, and has no business trying to monitor your intake, no matter how much they want to see you eat.  It simply invalidates how you feel and that you are an independent individual.
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
add to friends
ignore posts
re:
 

I am being watched!

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  14917.5 in response to 14917.4
from:
  cl-promiseplease  Member Icon
to:
  pookiekins
date:
  Nov-8 12:03 pm
replies:
  14

I think he feels that he is being supportive but it's driving me crazy.  I need to reach and maintain a healthy weight so we can try for a family but he keeps ramming that down my throat as well.  I know it is love and concern on his part but he can't see I need to figure this out on my own.  Restricting is stupid, I know that but I don't need the reminders.

I don't usually say anything much to him about it because it just ends up with me getting upset and him getting mad but maybe I shall just have to bite the bullet and tell him just how he is affecting me.

Promise

Promise 

 

send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
MESSAGES IN THIS DISCUSSION   1-5 6-10 11-14 read next>
< Jump to Previous Discussion    Jump to Next Discussion >
Change the number of messages
displayed on this page in
Indicate your interest in the discussion
   
Get updates to this discussion
delivered by email