Families & Mental Illness

If it's OK with everyone, I'd like to start a weekly "Finding What's Right In Our World" thread.

We often focus on the negative in our lives rather than the positive. This thread will provide the opportunity to share your positives and also share how you took a negative and turned it into something positive.

Some examples are: helping a neighbor, rescuing a cat from a tree, recycling to help our planet, having done something for yourself that made you feel good, facing a challenge and even if you didn't conquer it, perhaps you have a better understanding of it, you witnessed someone helping someone/something else, etc.

Let me know what you think!  

PS - I'd also like to know if you would want to keep this amongst ourselves or share it so that others can post as well? Such as CM's, CL's, members...

I vote keep quiet. Because sometimes our successes are not what others could understand.

For example, this weekend my H had a NEED to buy a new car. The last 3 cars he bought was from breaking me down. The first one was a 2-seat convertible, so I was not able to go on the test drive and while I was waiting in the lot he bought the car. The 2nd one was after we had kids, I had not been in the Miata for over a year, sort of made sense we both should have a car we can travel with kids. I didn't think it needed to be a luxury car & I was so angry I barely ever got into the thing. It was used & I do believe it had been drowned. So when he said he wanted a car that took less gas & more safe he was able to talk me into another weekend run to get a *new* car again. This time there is NO argument for a need. So he chooses to try to get me to agree by using the one car I've always wanted but for one reason or another have never been able to get.

This meant there was a lot of sulking & other measures he's used in the past and I took it all in stride. I never argued. I simply stated my thoughts & feelings and left it at that. When he came up with more argument points, I listened, asked to sit with his ideas & came back stating my thoughts & feelings. I never became emotional. I never said no either. I just said MY VOTE was a no. Honestly, I figured he'd go get without my agreement.

To my surprise we ended up getting a new insurance company that is going to save us a lot of money & no new car. Even a greater surprise ... I think I might have gained some respect (either that or he's buttering me up before the next weekend).

I feel good about how I dealt with this weekend. I feel like there may have been progress both on a personal level & on a relationship level.

... this is something I don't think people off of this board would really understand. They would not understand September/March hypomania. How it's not a 'normal' relationship where sometimes respect & understanding just simply does not exist b/c impulse is temporarily the lifeblood. How, though, you are not being respected, you MUST treat the other with respect to keep up with the ebb & flow.

Today was "goldfish" day at kindy for my dd. Last night she said "Mom, I can just wear orange." I said "No, I know what you can wear." We pulled this shiny gold, "rock star" dress up dress, out of her dress up trunk. It's a shirt on her now. It was cold this morning, so she got a pink long sleeved top and some pink leggings and put the gold dress on over it. She said "I look like Shine." Her goldfish that has a gold body and white fins and belly. When we got to class all the other kids were in orange and she was in gold. All the kids were like "Oooooh, look at you!" Even the teacher said "This child must have an amazing dress up trunk." Which is true.

I was so pleased to leave behind my happy, little, sparkling, goldfish, amongst all the cute little orange fish.

The ad for Lo/Jack & poor Henry Gibson has been on my mind a lot. Seems it shows up on this board more than is necessary. That I guess must be left to TPTB. Anyhoo, I guess that a device such as that would be what's right in the world. Is that whatcha mean???;)

I will go w/what the majority says, Laurie. My addition to this thread was to get it moved up a bit & not forgotten. There's a method in my madness. (((hugs))) jan