Fertility Therapies & Clomid

I'm Kristi. I'm 34 and the mother to Jordan....my son that I delivered stillborn October 13, 2005 at 33 weeks. I have been at the TTC after Stillbirth message board for the past 4 months but I realized that maybe it wasn't the best place for me....too many women having too much success with the "natural family planning method" of conceiving. (If you know what I mean.) Jordan was conceived by using Clomid after 7 years of battling infertility. My husband and I are back at it again...this time it's an entirely different ballgame for us. I find myself struggling with a whole LOT of depression: I'm grieving the loss of my son. I'm frustrated and very angry that I'm back at this again instead of focusing my energy on taking care of a 7 month old baby. I'm also disappointed that we've had 3 unsuccessful attempts.....I guess I just thought that God could give me a break. After all He took my baby, I thought it would be nice if He would make it not so difficult for us this time around. That's what I get for thinking.

Right now we are on cycle day 22 - waiting VERY impatiently to test. This month my follicle tracking results were not as promising as past cycles. However, I'm staying cautiously optomistic because I had one good follicle that was big enough so that I could get my HCG injection. I keep reminding myself that it ONLY TAKES ONE!!!

Thank you for listening to my "poor me" story. I woke up in a funk this morning and I thought it might help to talk a little.

Kristi,

Hi and welcome. I'm sorry I didn't see your post sooner, I'm not usually around on the weekends.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I can't even begin to imagine the pain. And then to add the frustration of TTC again on top of it. Please make sure you watch yourself. If you find things are getting to be too rough there are meds you can take while trying to TTC and while pg, which can help you cope. I had to take meds with my 3rd pregnancy when my mom died 13 weeks into it. So I understand at least that aspect of grief and mourning, though it can't be the same.

I hope you have a BFP this month! And at any rate, I hope that you decide to talk to us more, whether or not you get a BFP. We're not the busiest board but we are friendly!