discussion title: any ladies relate?
Hi, in college i made a dumb mistake and ended up in bed with a guy after drinking a lot and woke up not remembering what happened that night. I woke up in a shirt and underwear and was a virgin when this happened. I didn't think anything really happened at the time so i up and left but now i wonder. Then i contacted the guy's ex who said he was forceful in bed with her at times. The fact that i found out how he was with his ex and that i was a virgin when this happened both bother me. If anyone out there knows anyone that has been through this with the same issues that bother me about it could you respond? I just want to know that it really isn't a big deal and other people have moved on completely and it hasn't affected them. Then i will know that i can move on too.
message #: 5906.2 in response to 5906.1
Hi, and welcome. It sounds to me as though you should get to see a doctor first of all. You don't know if you had first time sexual intercourse with someone, so you probably weren't prepared for it. If you are not taking any form of birth control and did have sex, you need to be aware of the risks of pregnancy. You also should be checked out for sexually transmitted diseases, if you did indeed have sex and it was unprotected, as in, he did not use a condom.I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I suggest that since you are at college, you find a counsellor on the campus with whom you can talk about this. If you have the slightest suspicion that this guy took advantage of you while you were drunk, then you have a lot to deal with in terms of your self esteem. Also, please, you are young and probably away from home. Take it easy with the drinking. Waking up and not remembering what happened is a dangerous thing to have happen to you.You can indeed move on from this episode, and you are right to reach out to talk to others who may have been in the same situation. But I urge you to talk to a counsellor as well, who might be able to guide you, or help you find women who have been through this. Take care, Nenu
CL – Sexual Health
I must warn you, flattery is something only your target may believe - Author unknown.
 
message #: 5906.3 in response to 5906.1
To help us put everything in perspective, firefliesflyin, could you tell us when this happened? I get the sense that perhaps it occurred some time ago?
Are you simply seeking closure at this point, or are you worried that this guy is still out there being "forceful" with young, vulnerable women?
Many women have have similar experiences and have moved on from them with relative ease, but others need more time to work through what happened to them. There is no universal standard of "right" or "wrong" when it comes to how we react to things like this.
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