Gentle Hugs Lexi,
sometimes people don't understand the full impact of bereavement on people. We all are affected different ways, we react to grief different ways.
Your dad sounds like he was, and is, a wonderful man. You obviously had a wonderful and close relationship with him and it must have left a huge hole in your life. My beliefs are that when our loved ones pass over their spirit will fly free and they stay with us watching over us. I find this comforting and hope you might also get some small measure of comfort from similar thoughts.
I know you have said that you don't want therapy but you know, it isn't always what we think it will be like. Sometimes just being able to express our anger , our despair, all our emotions to someone who won't judge us and who does understand can be helpful. Maybe just think about it.
We are here too so you can always come here to express what's in you. We all understand and we just want to help. The pain of bereavement can have the edge taken off it by sharing with those who really get it.
Promise
