Helping hubby after loss of his Dad

welcome!

next discussion >

angiemax2007

add to friends
ignore posts

discussion title:

Helping hubby after loss of his Dad

emoticon:

message #:

5750.1

from:

angiemax2007

date:

Oct-16 2:13 pm

replies:

I was wondering if any of you ladies can help me. My husband's Dad passed away unexpectedly on Monday. He went in to have knee replacement surgery, which he was very excited about and passed away due to a blood clot. My Husband has an extremely close relationship with his parents. They are the most wonderful people. He has been really strong he is obviously very sad but at the same time worried about his mom. They were married 44 years. Together since she was 18. We had a service for him yesterday and next weekend we are planning on traveling to do a burial in his home town.
My question is what can I do to help my husband? I have sat with him and listened to him when he wants to talk. I have gave him his space when I know he is upset and crying (he doesnt' like ppl to see him crying) so when he goes to his "place" to cry I give him time and then go hold him. I am just so sad for him. I want to make it all go away. It has also hit me hard. I wasn't overly close to my parents. My mom is gone and my dad and I don't speak. So maybe I looked to them as my parents also, I don't know. I have cried with him and I have cried alot on my own. There has been times when he is having a good moment and I break down. Part of me feels bad for that because this is his time to mourn. Alot of it is that is so hard to see him hurting. He is such a strong person I hate this for him. I'm trying to be there as much as I can without smothering him. Am I doing okay? What more/less can I do?

send to a friend > print > bookmark > report a violation >

cl-promiseplease

add to friends
ignore posts

re:

Helping hubby after loss of his Dad

emoticon:

message #:

5750.2 in response to 5750.1

from:

cl-promiseplease

to:

angiemax2007

date:

Oct-16 3:33 pm

replies:

Hi,

you are doing every thing right :-) . Your DH is going to go through so many different emotions and just being there for him, listening when he needs to talk , space when he needs to be alone and just being 'you' for him. It is all you can do and it is everything.

For you, I think you are going through bereavement yourself. Not only for your father-in-law but also a bereavement for the loss of the relationship that maybe you would have liked to have with your own parents. So a gentle hug for you too.

Please come and talk with us any time you want to as you will need support as well. We are always here.

Promise