Herpes

Browneyedgirl-
Your post brought tears to my eyes as you articulated many of the same feelings I've had since I was diagnosed two years ago. I had never had unprotected sex at the time and had only had one partner. I feel that after I was diagnosed my whole life changed. I closed up. How could I tell anyone without them assuming that I was promiscous?-as you put it. I let the stigma that is attached to the disease influence the way I started feeling about myself-I felt dirty, unlovable, and ultimately alone.

The physical aspects of this condition are bareable to me, but my greatest fear is telling someone I care about and being judged by them and even abandoned. Recently, I started dating someone new that I feel will be someone I will be with for a long time, but I feel so guilty about my secret. Of course, I plan on telling him if we ever do have sex, but until then I know I am going to feel dishonest and horrible.

I'm really glad I found this message board because I have never opened up about herpes. It has been something that has constantly haunted me. I hope that talking about it and being among a collectivity of voices that are going through the same thing will help me come to terms with this condition and start loving myself again.

Thanks.

Hi gemstone222:

In my family, my wife (Gail) has the herpes virus. She has HSV-1 (cold sore). Cold sores have been passed on by parents and grand parents kissing babies and children. Gail told me many years ago she had the virus; but I still wanted her in my life. We have been married almost 30 years. In her case, she has learned to recognize the onset of an outbreak. When she feels tingling or burning of the lips, we do NOT kiss or have oral sex. We both take L-lysine 1000 mg each morning (to boost our immune systems).

Mac