Lesbian Life

So my room-mate and I have been flirting A LOT, non-stop. Constantly. All day. I wake up next to her (we sleep in the same bed now, every single day, 100% SOBER too!) So I wake up next to her, text her when she leaves to class, text her while i'm at meetings, come home to her, study with her, flirt with her, sometimes she leaves to go to her meetings or games,I wait for her to come home, and then go back to sleep with her. But I know she still texts this other guy from the club... She even told me when we were laying down last night. That he texted her good night, or something along those lines. Wow. How is that supposed to make me feel? What should i make of that? What would you guys think about that... ? So I do the same thing to, to make her feel a little jealous. But then I feel bad. I feel like it hurts her. But I just have to remind myself not to feel bad. Because if she's not being considerate of my feelings then why should I with her, right? =/

So I am going to a Halloween party tonight, in Beverly Hills, and I won't be home until 2:00 AM. Probably later than that... I'm going with all my girls from my club, so she's not going... And this is how lame I am: I feel guilty! I don't want her to feel bad, because she'll be home alone. What if she gets mad at me? Not only that, it's like I'm missing out on spending time with her. Being with her. And as RIDICULOUS as this sounds to feel this way, I can't help it. I know that I shouldn't invest in this, because nothing is certain... what if nothing serious even comes out of it? I shouldn't make her priority, and I know that the best thing to do is to go out tonight at the club and have fun! Dance! Spend time with my friends! Meet new people! I just hope she's not asleep when I get home, which is very likely though, so that I can sleep with her =) Neither of us have class tomorrow, so we can actually sleep in this time! <3  I guess my question is: what should i do to make myself not feel guilty anymore? =/ I feel so shallow for feeling like this, because I know I shouldn't She's not investing in anything. A perfect example of this: On Tuesday she went out with her club and she invited me to go but I couldn't cuz I had class... And they didn't get home until around midnight. They ended up going out to eat and staying out for a few extra hours. ANd I was just thinking "ughhh, come home already!" See, she wasn't rushing to get home. She was enjoying her time, especially because she likes both a boy and a girl from her club and they were there too.

(I'm laying under her blanket right now cuz she left it on my bed, and she just left to class =D)

How would I know if this is going to become something more? Something serious? When does it turn into a real relationship as opposed to just flirting and spending time together all the time? Is it just a sexual/physical thing? When do you think to yourself: "okay, i really care about this person, not just because i love to flirt, but i want a serious relationship..."

i feel like i need so much guidance and i'm just so confused... =/ responses to this post are time sensitive because i'm going to the party TONIGHT! in like 6 hours! hahahahaha. what do you guys think?

Ughhh, I just HATE this feeling of being vulnerable. It's so very scary, but exciting at the same time, ya know?

Ashlee, when you say you are sleeping with her, are you kissing, cuddling, doing the wild thing or sleeping as in eyes closed, snoring.

If you are doing the wild thing I would be asking her a few questions on what, why, how, where is this relationship heading.

It's clear that it is messing with your head...and your getting deeper and deeper into the relationship and if she doesn't feel the same way, sweetie you're the one that is going to hurt and hurt real bad.

Have a great time at your Halloween party, dance!

Ask her!

Easy to say, hard to do. I know that, but to save you torturing yourself you need to find out where you stand with her. It has its risks- she might not feel the same way. It could however lead to something amazing. But the only way you can get the answer is to ask the question and risk the answer.

Either way you have us here to hear your thoughts.

Big hugs and lots of courage going your way babe!

Here's my 2cents.
Like some other people said, you and her should sit out and talk about what you guys are doing? How and where you want this "sleeping together" go? Things like that.

My additional thought is this: Even if you both decide to get into an exclusive relationship, you both should still have your own space, i.e. you should not get mad if she goes out with her friends and vice versa. Otherwise, it would turn into an obsessive relationship and I think that's very very unhealthy.