discussion title: All Puns Intended!!
--Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
--A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
--Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
--A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
--Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
--"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
--Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly.. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
--An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
--Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
--I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
--A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The Doctor replied: ''I know, I amputated your arms!''
--I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel...
--What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
--Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
--Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
--A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
--Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edited 11/2/2009 1:47 pm ET by cl-ting_tn
message #: 13154.2 in response to 13154.1
.......aannnndddd what have you been drinking? LOL! Those were really great!
message #: 13154.3 in response to 13154.2
A friend sent them to me. :-) I couldn't resist sharing!
message #: 13154.4 in response to 13154.1
Oh My Goodness!~ I laughed so hard.. Too funny!!.. Especially (although it isn't nice to laugh at) I did anyway.. at..
--A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The Doctor replied: ''I know, I amputated your arms!''
I just have to send these to a few people.. They are so good.. I mean how does one sit and figure these things out?.. Thanks for sharing..and thanks for the laugh..
message #: 13154.5 in response to 13154.3
Thank you for sharing. I'm going to have to post this on my Facebook.
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