Hi, bozicgurl........and welcome to the board!
There are always some options that this lady can explore...she needs to talk very openly with her oncologist and see what her doctors can come up with to help her. As for her DH...I don't know what to say, Hon! I've seen this a lot over the years I was a nurse.....the spouse blaming him or her self for the illness of their family member. It certainly didn't help that she was exposed to all that second-hand smoke, of course......but lots of people get cancer for no reason that anyone can even tell! I've known several people who weren't exposed to second-hand smoke as children, and have never smoked a day in their lives, and have lung cancer! Unfortunately, cancer is an "equal opportunity" disease.....it doesn't discriminate! Young, middle aged, older folks and even babies have cancer - there's just no way of knowing WHY some folks get cancer and some don't sometimes. If this gentleman is having a really hard time, and can't stop blaming himself for his wife's cancer, you might want to suggest to your bf that perhaps this man could benefit from some councelling by a therapist, or at the very least an honest talk with his wife's oncologist. It isn't helping his WIFE that he's blaming himself for her lung cancer....it can make him be less effective in helping her NOW, when she really needs his help! Let us know what happens, and how this lady (and her DH!) is doing, okay? Post often, Hon!
Welcoming (((hugs))),
Linda.
