discussion title:
Is it ok to still be upset?
Ok , So last year Nov 6 I found out I was pregnant with my sixth child, I was in a really bad situation that caused me to send my oldest two kids to live with my parents. My younger three were still living with me and my SO but we were living in a very small apartment. When I found out I was expecting I was lost and confused I thought about giving the baby up or not continuing the pregnancy because I knew my situation was not good for the other kids and I didn't want to put another child through it. My SO was not only very unsupportive but he was mad. After Alot of thinking and talking to my SO I decided I was going to keep the baby. I knew in my heart it was a boy and I had started picking out names even though I was still early in the pregnancy. Then I was at work and i realized I had miscarried so I went to the doctors and they did an ultrasound and told me that I had miscarried. I loved the baby even though I was only 10 weeks. I feel like I'm being punished for thinking about terminating the pregnancy. I feel so bad that I'm still so upset about miscarrying when I already have 5 healthy wonderful children and there are people that can't even have 1 child. I feel like I'm being selfish and being really selfish for wanting to have another child as bad as I do.
After that happened I had the Implanon put in my arm for birth control because I was way too scared of getting pregnant but my SO does not want to have any more kids ever I'm hoping 2011 when my Implanon is removed he won't feel so strongly about not having another baby but at the same time is it wrong for me to ask him again when he has made it very clear he doesn't want anymore kids
