Hello, I have been feeling down again. I had my MC on Oct. 12,09. I was 11 weeks when it happen. But we found out 9-30-09 from the DR that we were going to have a MC. And my sweetie and I have been heart broken. We didn't plan for to have a baby right away like this, we wanted to get married and have a place, but things changed and I was getting more happy at first knowing I had a blessing on its way and we were getting used of the ideal knowing we are going to be parents. Our parents weren't too happy, for sure my mom. but knowing that God took my Angel from me its so hurtful knowing that I was becoming a mommy and then boom God took Angel away from us. I had a weird feeling something bad going to happen before I had the MC. I know Angel is in a better place, Im trying to tell myself that God has plans for us and Angel. It still hurts knowing that I can't be a mommy no more to Angel, But I am a mommy to an Angel from up above.. My sweetie and I have been struggling, living at our parents place and no jobs, and looking but still nothing. I have been under alot of stress. Im not eating much, my body seems that it don't want to eat. I only like eat one meal or two and once a while snack on something. I'm hopping soon I can start eating better and lose this baby belly fat that I have so that I can fit in a hot wedding dress for our wedding day next year.. The most hurtful feeling is that Our baby Angel was going to be born May 3rd 2010. May 2. is my Grandma's B-day and shes not doing so well. I thought it be so perfect to have our baby to have my sick grandma's b-day or close to her bday. We were going to change our wedding date to get married sooner, but yah now its on the normal date. May 1st 2010, I'm marrying my Fireman Soulmate.
I have been brave these couple days, being around babies or kids of my friend's or family. My sweetie's sister is prego and I guess I just can't feel happy for her anymore, I guess Im still groping about our Little one. I just needed to let this out. I can't think much else to say, Im also haven't been sleeping much. But I guess Its time for me to try get some rest. Thanks for reading and if you like to comment you can.
