discussion title: Fustration setting in...
Hi Ladies...
I know I haven't been very chatty lately. I apologize for the new comers. I'm having a difficult time right now. Tomorrow, Nov 5th it will be one year since my 8th miscarriage. All of this began with my first loss in July 2002! As you all know, I still haven't brought home my miracle child over seven years later. The clock is ticking and AF just showed. DH hasn't been doing well physically. Veritgo and menieres (potentially) are causing many issues including the lack of BDing. Which is adding to my frustration. All I can HOPE for is a lucky month. As I turn 39 right abou the time I should O!!! I'd like nothing more than to test the new meds protocol and have a successful pg. If not, I've been glancing at all the adoption sites again. It is Adoption Awareness Month! LOL
I just want you all to know I'm not trying to be distant and apologise if anyone is feeling slighted. I try to keep checking on everyone several times a week. The new job has me a bit distracted...I guess that's a good thing to be busy at work, right?! LOL
Hope all is well for everyone...Thanks for letting me blow off a little vent of frustration!
(((HUGS))) to you all!
re: Fustration setting in...message #: 7974.2 in response to 7974.1
Hi Kel,
I know that I have children, so this is much different for me in that regard, but I can understand the frustration you're feeling. I was wondering if your insurance covers IUI so that you could try to get pg faster so you could try the new protocol. I have been doing more research myself lately, I guess just because I'm feeling desperate and helpless and see my age working so hard against me. I can't believe I came here in Feb of '02 for the 1st time, it seems so unreal, all that has happened and all the people who have come through this board, and some still here. I wish there were Drs out there with the highest level of knowledge on all of our individual issues, who would take each of us and do whatever needs to be done to keep trying. That is such a simplistic thought and of course, not realistic or possible.
I don't know if your DH would go along with IUI, but if he would, it might be worth trying so that you could continue to try. This has to be so hard with your DH having so many problems with his health. ((((((hugs))))))
re: Fustration setting in...message #: 7974.3 in response to 7974.2
Hi Leanna,
As you can see from my title, I can't even spell I'm so frustrated! LOL
Thanks for the thought...NO my insurance doen't cover IUI. As a matter of fact, it doesn't cover ANY fertility treatments, only infertility testing! Even if it did, I don't think I could get DH to go along with it. Since July, I've had the entire RPL panel and clotting factors redrawn, met with a new hematologist, had another mammogram, and met with an endocrinologist. Everyone is baffled and consulted with other experts. The only thing that's different is my lovenox dosage of 40mg 2x per day. The frustration is getting to me physically too. All the weight I lost a few years ago is back. The past month I've been taking hydroxycut and NOTHING! The weather has been so crappy I haven't been outside much. Which also adds to DH's health issues.
So at this point, the only thing I can hope for is to get knocked up for my bday! LOL I think I'm just so afraid to go forward with adoption in the fear we'd be turned down. I just can't accept the fact we'll never have kids. I'm not ready to give up on that! That being said...I just don't know what to do next. I've been so frustrated, I stopped taking all my stuff. No vitamins what so ever. I initially stopped because I wanted to see how the tests would come out without being on anything. Since then, I just haven't restarted them. I still chart every day, even though I don't know why! So, aside from someone dropping off a baby on our doorstep, I don't know what's next.
Ok...that's enough ranting for now! Thanks again! I hope you find something in your research! I still check things for you as well! (((HUGS)))
re: Fustration setting in...message #: 7974.4 in response to 7974.3
Hey there, again.
You reminded me, when talking about the stork...when my DHs father was alive and lived in South America, I used to ask him to find me a baby, lol...we'd always laugh when I joked about it, but we all knew I was not really kidding. He saw so many teenage pgs where he lived, many in his extended family, and it was hard to hear about all the cousins, in their teens, who were accidentally pg. I know what you mean about not wanting to start with adoption for fear of being turned down, I feel the same way about trying to come up with a way to finance IVF. After reading your post this morning, and I have been feeling so frustrated as well, I took the plunge and wrote to my parents, a long heartfelt letter in hopes that they would loan us the money for the IVF. Today, I discovered that SIRM is now offering a shared risk refund plan for IVF w/ CGH in reaction to the bad economic times we're in. I decided I had to ask, with all the info possible presented to them. I wrote this huge amount of info w/ links to everything on the refund plan, my SIRM Dr, what he feels our chances are of success, blah blah blah. I made sure they understood that if it doesn't work, the money is refunded, and if it does work, I laid out a viable way for us to pay back the money in a two year time period. What I will expect to hear is that we should try to save enough over the next two years to try it after we have saved it, lol...but I just don't have a good feeling about the chance of having any good eggs left when I am going on 42! Plus, my DH struggles with feeling like he is getting almost too old to have the energy for a baby...eeoow that is a scary thought...I can't believe he feels that way and yet, I do understand that we are not spring chickens anymore, but yikes.
I think you should get your DH good and loaded for your BDay and make sure his gift to you is just what you need! I'll let you know the verdict on my loan request, lol...most likely I will need a good slap to keep from wallowing in self pitty after the answer, lol. I sure wish we both lived in states that mandate IF coverage!
re: Fustration setting in...message #: 7974.5 in response to 7974.4
Kelly-
First off--you do an AMAZING job on this board---you are sooo supportive and offer wonderful advice--so sorry about the year anniversary of your last loss.....it's amazing how those dates are forever etched in our minds--I type this as today is the 5th year anniversary of the start of my HORRIBLE ride on the RPL/infertility roller coaster...As Leanna said---I know it isn't the same---because I have been blessed with 2 amazing kids---I pray that you will be pregnant for your bday--- I pray that you have the STICKIEST, HEALTHIEST twin pregnancy!!!! Keep doing what you are doing on this board----and I know your reward is on the way......
Change the number of messages displayed on this page in
Indicate your interest in the discussion
Get updates to this discussion delivered by email
|
|
