Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

                                                          *****This may be triggering*****

Tomorrow will be two months since my daughters horrific death.  The nightmares have begun.   I've had dreams the last several nights of trying to get to her, to help her but I can't move.  I see her face, looking ashen and lifeless as it was that afternoon.  I know in my dreams I have to save her but I can't get to her.  My husband wakes me up from thrashing and crying out.  I can't close my eyes without seeing her like that. It makes me physically ill.  I can't eat.  I've lost more that 15 lbs.  I can't afford to lose another ounce.  Feels like I'm going to go out of my mind.  How am I going to get through this. 

Dearest Lucky,

My thoughts continue to be with you and your family. My thoughts are especially with you today. I know that noone can even imagine what you must be going through. I am glad though that you had the strength to reach out here. I would say that your nightmares and the physical side of what you are going through are very normal. If things get very unbearable please do not hesitate to reach out and call a crisis line. Sometimes in can help just to have someone to talk to. Have you thought of perhaps going to therapy or joining a grief support group? Perhaps that may help a bit.

Here is a link I found on ivillage that may help - it talks about grief and it's effects.  http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/grief.html

Here is a link to a message board for Bereavement and Healing here on ivillage.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhgrief

I am not sure what faith you are...or your thoughts on the Bible....but I would be willing to send you some brochures and info I have that could help. Feel free to send me an email anytime and I can get you that info.

I don't really know what else to say, just wanted to let you know I read your post and continue to think of you.

April

((((((((gentle hugs))))))))

My dearest friend,

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. April has given you good resources available here on iVillage. Are you and your family seeing a grief counsellor right now or are you working through this with your therapist?

Lucky, have you ever looked into guided imagery or Emotional Freedom Technique? Guided imagery has helped me a lot, and there are guided imageries for PTSD and also for grief, which I am listening to right now. It's on my playlist of tracks that I listen before I go to sleep and as I sleep. You can read about EFT <a href="http://www.emofree.com">here</a> and see whether it's something that you want to try or not. You can do it on your own or you can work with someone to help you through the nightmares and the grief. I do not know whether these two methods will help you or not. We each have to find what works for us, and I do hope that you find what helps you with your nightmare.

One of my mother's mantras, which she included in a poem she wrote recently is "My Love is in Good Hands, my Love is in Paradise". It helped me a lot reading this, because I had an image of my father being surrounded by love, being safe, being well taken care of, surrounded by all who loved him and who have passed on before him. He's healthy again, strong again, not needing dialysis or hearing aid, free from his wheelchair.

Gentlest of hugs,