discussion title: New here. Sigh.
I was pointed to this group by someone on my playgroup board. My name is Stacy, and I am having a bad few days. My life is going fine, but I can't seem to kill all the urges I've been having. I gave in yesterday and scratched a long hole in my forearm. like 7"x1" I guess. I have no reason to be stressed or anything. I don't know what to do about it. I do not want to end up in the hospital for the 3rd time this year. I am going to read some posts.. Does anyone have some advice to get me through the next few days?
message #: 9789.2 in response to 9789.1
Hi, and welcome to the board! It's a quiet one, but there's lots of very supportive people here :) I'm sorry you're having urges that are overwhelming right now, I sure know how that feels! It doesn't have to be caused by stress or anything in particular, though that can be one trigger. Sometimes it can just be overwhelming for no apparent reason at all. I found that the sole thing that really helped me was to talk to someone who was close to me. I found that hiding it, being quiet and feeling ashamed, made me far worse. I also found that going out and doing stuff helped a lot...even if it was just wandering round town looking at stuff. Best thing for me was often exercise, but I couldn't always find the energy if I was having a bad depressive episode at the same time. Distraction is often the key...find something else to focus on, and you'll make it through one minute, one hour, suddenly one day... *gentle hugs* Chris
message #: 9789.3 in response to 9789.2
Usually when I have the urges I am really stressed and/or depressed, so it's been weird for me to have such strong ones when I'm mostly alright. I don't know how to fight these ones. I normally am comforted by the thought that they'll pass once my mood gets better. Now I don't have any hope if they can come at any time, ya know? I told my mom, and she just asked if she should be worried, and then asked me what I told my son, and is upset that he'll grow up thinking it's ok. My daughter is old enough that I have explained it to her. I kinda had to when it first started happening. I ran out of excuses. I went to a birthday party tonight, and to my mom's for awhile before that cuz I thought the destraction would be great, but all I could think about is finding a place to be alone so I could scratch.. and what sorts of things those places might have to hurt myself with. My fiance has cleared out pretty much every sharp object from our house. even the kid scissors and paperclips. I know there's one razor here somewhere and i've torn the house apart looking for it more than once. I'm surprised he hasn't taken away my cigs and lighter yet.. though honestly the thought of using them hasn't occurred to me till recently, and I haven't mentioned it to anyone. yet. I might have to I guess. it really is getting worse and I know i'll have to talk to my counselor about it soon. I really don't want to. she was already talking about another hospital stay last week and that was before I had given in at all. they weren't so bad then though. I can't stop babbling about it, sorry. i've never really talked to someone who actually understands, and isn't just paid to "understand". Does anyone know if it's part of my obsessive compulsive crap? Maybe if they switched up my meds again it'd help? What does it stem from? or is it something that just stands on it's own? I haven't asked many questions about it cuz i've always assumed it was part of my depression. without that to associate it with i'm at a loss. I guess I am glad my man is home all day tomorrow. even though it will be so frustrating with him hovering over me constantly. blah. now I don't want tomorrow to come. maybe I am getting depressed. I don't know.
message #: 9789.4 in response to 9789.3
Hello Stacie and welcome,
here's a quick message, only because i have to get dressed and be downstairs in 15 minutes tomeet my parents. but i wanted to write.
i am so glad you came on this board. the very process of writing, it's very relieving. i also felt like i had ahundred questions. but here, you have all the space and time you need, and we'll read your messages and respond and do our best to help. i've been here for 2 years and this is the oly place i can really be totally open about everything. i say things here i can't or won't tell my husband or therapist.
my understanding is that depression, ocd, anxiety, etc. are all interrelated. this is because the neurotransmitters that respond to antidepressants in depression, are also the same neurotransmitters that are responsibile for and respond to the same meds in ocd, anxiety, etc. this means: the same meds that are given for depression are the same meds that are given for these other conditions. sometimes both conditions, depression and ocd, coexist, as in my case, and i different times, either the one or the other will be the more pronounced. sometimes i am more depressed, sometimes more ocd.
the si behavior, i learned in therapy, is my way of expressing my depression or anxiety. instead of saying, i'm depresesed, or i'm anxious, i instead engage in my si behavior.
this is only a start. i will write more. just one more sentence, though, and that is this: it might be worth going into the hospital before you have a full-blown episode. it ismuch easier to treat these kinds of things in the earlier stages than waiting. obviously, if your counselor is suggesting it, she probably has a good reason--something must be leading her to this suggestion. she may be picking up signals you yourself cannot see. as an objective observer, she can see them. my t. knew i was skinking into depression again weeks before i cknowledged it. i lost valuable time and suffered needlessly. i preventive stay in the hospital may be worthwhile and it may be less traumatic and shorter than if you were to wait until you habve no choice and are forced into going.
and as for getting through the urges, deep beathing, relaxing, and taking one minute at a time are all great strategies.
take care.
tziporah
message #: 9789.5 in response to 9789.4
I got talked into the hospital by my psychiatrist. I'm out 4 days later. it's probably the shortest stay i've ever had! I am still having issues though. but I haven't given in for a couple days. I guess that's something.
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