Self-Injury

So it's been a little while since I posted a lot on this board, so I thought I'd do a bit of an update again!

I'm still going strong! No depressive episodes, I feel really content with my life. That's not to say it's all rosy all the time, that would just be weird! Life has its ups and its downs, which is normal. But over it all, I'm content. I know that without downs I can't know the ups. Our lives are built on contrasts: right and left, up and down, light and dark. We can't read white crayon on white paper because there's no contrast!

My friend and mentor Richard says that a truly balanced life would contain 50% rubbish! The question is what you do with it...do you carry it around with you in a sack, or do you turn it into compost and plant roses in it? I try to plant roses in mine!

I have joined a gym, as I've put on rather a lot of weight over the past couple of years. I eat very healthy food, most of it cooked from scratch and a lot of it organic. But of course with having sorted out my gluten free diet I'm actually using all the nutrients that used to go straight through me, and I sold Jo (the horse) in November last year, so I'm no longer spending 2-3 hours every DAY at the stables doing stuff. I'm also so much more relaxed, I think I was burning some just on nervous tension. I've been going just under 2 weeks, and it feels great, though I had my second induction today, and my trainer introduced the cross-trainer...which is an implement of torture unlike any other, and should be banned! Unfortunately at the moment I appear to be *gaining* weight rather than losing it, which is slightly frustrating, but I suppose I'm developing some muscles or something!

The life coaching business side is on hold at the moment, as I may be moving to Wales. That's about 200 miles away, so there's no comfortable way of continuing with my local clients, so it's not fair to take on new ones at this time. But I'm happy and confident with what I have been doing, and really enjoy it!

I've done a couple of talks at the big Open Days we've had with the BC course. I stood up and spoke to 180 and 140 people respectively! That's incredible, considering I used to be scared of presenting to a class of 10! I actually love it! My message now is so strong, it transcends any nerves I used to have!

Essentially, life is beautiful! Of course I have challenges, but I firmly believe in something else Richard says...life is like a sausage machine-you get out exactly what you put in! If you want a vegetarian sausage, there's no point putting pork in. So if you want happy, you have to put happy *into* the machine first! Thus, Life is Beautiful!

Gentle hugs,

Chris

*grins*

I probably DO sound like a life coach...because I live like one!

I sold Jo in November last year because quite frankly he was getting too strong for me and things were getting if not dangerous, certainly not comfortable. His attitude to any sort of work was always extremely negative, though he was happy enough to just amble along. I will get another one, that's part of what getting the property in Wales is all about, having the land to keep my own horses at home, but I won't buy one until I have actually moved, it's complicated enough!

I have to eat gluten-free because I have a food intolerance to gluten. I have had a "sensitive" stomach for a long, long time, with bouts of upset tummy regularly. I just hadn't realised just *how* regularly until I had a few attacks while I was at my then girlfriend's house. Don't you become more aware of your toilet habits when away from home??? Well, I started looking at things, and realised that this was actually a big issue. Knowing quite a lot about health and nutrition from my nursing career, plus having a good friend who is gluten, lactose and egg intolerant, I realised that there was a high chance that I had an intolerance of some sort. Because I have the knowledge, I did an exclusion diet (excluding all wheat, rye, barley, oats, milk and milk products and eggs) for two weeks to clear my system. Then reintroduced each one. This would normally be done with your doctor. I was fine when I reintroduced milk and eggs, but the wheat, rye, barley test gave me an upset tummy again. I removed it and re-introduced it again to be safe, got the same reaction, and at that point went to my doctor. I had a blood test, and then a full colonoscopy and gastroscopy. The resulting diagnosis is that I do *not* have coeliac disease, which is a good thing. I do however have IBS with a gluten intolerance trigger. The treatment is essentially to avoid all foods containing wheat, rye and barley, plus most oats. Not because oats in themselves are bad for me, but because they're processed in the same plants as the wheat/rye/barley, and so are often contaminated.

It's a pain because it means there are a lot of things I'm unable to eat. Normal bread, pasta, pizza, even soy sauce is out! But it does my health a world of good!

The gym feels really good to do, but it's taking me some time to get used to! I don't traditionally like exercise for the sake of exercise...I'm much more likely to just get on with doing stuff that needs doing, like riding the horse, mucking out etc. But I also know that a huge motivator for me is "being good", so I'm focussing on that and the health benefits. The treadmill is easy enough, though I never thought I'd actually be able to do jogging (yes, it's minor at the moment, but I *am* actually jogging!). The crosstrainer is really difficult to explain. You have separate foot plates, plus handles. You move your legs in kind of a circular pattern, and the foot plates give different levels of resistance depending on the programme. You then also include moving your arms with the handles too, so it's an all-over workout. It uses more muscles in the leg than anything else I have done!

Yoga is an awesome method of exercise! I do Pilates also, which is really good for core strength and flexibility!

I have considered telecoaching, but my method is really quite focussed on being there in person, on the personal contact and touch. It's possible to use it over the phone/skype, but it's harder and slower. I will give current clients that choice, but I'm not going to take new ones on under false pretences as it were.

I have found my balance indeed. It's been a long, complex road, but it's also taught me a *lot*! I'm truly content, and that's such a good thing. I have no doubt whatsoever that you will find yours too, you're making such good progress!

Gentle hugs,

Chris

Hi Chris, good to hear from you. You sound great! In fact I can relate alot. Going to the gym and doing classes and yoga has become one of the main parts of my life, something I love, and also a way to deal with the weight gain.

I wish I could say no depressive episodes though, it's been a rough few months (although only a few days to a week, and that is much different than previous). I think with the season change it's getting tough, though I got through last winter. It also seems to be hormonal. I am getting back to previous med levels and things are sorting themselves out, I think. Look at me, talking about myself! In any case, I'm glad to hear you're not having depressive episodes.

I should send you some recipes. I have a couple gluten-free cookbooks - even one that is all baking! Yum! If you have arrowroot powder available you can usually replace flour. I have also noticed my Vegetarian Times magazine has gone almost completely gluten-free. I love to cook, though I don't do it enough. It would be fun to swap recipes and such! I'm getting ready for holiday cooking and baking already, at least mentally, scanning the recipes and watching for sales in the grocery flyers.

It would be great if you could have a place to keep your own horses at home, and find a horse with a more suitable personality. You definitely need the right fit. My friend had a beautiful place in Wales. I can just imagine how beautiful it would be where you may live. I will never have a horse or a place in the countryside, just a cat and a big city, so I shall have to enjoy it through you! LOL. (I love my cat though)

I can't believe I haven't been online in probably 3 weeks, so much to do! Great catching up with you!

cl of the Self-Injury board

Class of 2008