I'm still in therapy. I think it's been an essential part of my life and healing. For me, I'm beginning to think of it as something I need to maintain good mental health, just like taking an antidepressant. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop either. But that's just me. Some people finish therapy and don't go back. It's different for everyone. I think it's helped me immensely. I feel better going so I continue to go.
I agree that you have to find the right match in a therapist. Someone who works well for me may not be the right therapist for you. They all have different styles and all of our brains and feelings work in different ways so what's good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. Thinking of it as shopping for someone you "fit" with might help. You don't have to accept the first therapist you see. If he/she doesn't feel right, he/she probably isn't. I recommend calling an office and asking to speak to a therapist before you even meet with him. Ask lots of questions. This is an investment in so many ways and you have the right to know what to expect before you start. Any therapist who is threatened or refuses to take such a call and answer such questions probably isn't worth seeing.
That being said, however, it's going to be normal to feel uncomfortable and to have some anxiety about it all. It's not going to be as if you're walking out of a fun party. But a good therapist can hopefully help you find ways to deal with putting away some of the emotions as a session is ending and finding ways to cope between sessions.
The other thing to consider is that you only get out of therapy what you put into it. I've had times where for months (perhaps more honestly years) where I sat back and waited for my therapist to "fix" me. Guess what? I felt miserable and wasn't getting any better. He pushed and pushed me and I resisted. Finally, not that long ago, I realized I needed to start working again. I have to be the one with the most desire to get better. He can't be doing it for me. I'd come a long ways with things, but for quite some time I quit working and spent all my time crying and being frustrated. I didn't think things would ever change because my therapist refused to fix me (my irrational thoughts). Now I'm doing the work and getting support along the way. Working at it can cause new difficult feelings and issues, but at least I know I'm working at it and I feel much more supported by my therapist and several others. It's like the people who use a diet pill to lose weight. It just ain't gonna do it. You've got to put the sweat and work in. Please know that I'm not directing this so much as you, mrsfiend; it's just a general comment about therapy for anyone reading this as I'd hate to see anyone suffer as I did and sit back and wait for someone else to fix them. Therapy just doesn't work that way.
I understand that you don't want to remember. But it sounds as if you already are. And once you start down that hill, there's no going back...the memories and feelings are going to come out. You can't stuff them back in (well, I suppose you can...that's why people turn to drugs and alcohol and other self-destructive behaviors, IMHO). And I think it's better to be with a competent therapist who can help you sort them out than to be on your own at home trying to ignore it all alone.
A therapist should do more than just shake her head and listen. I think you got a bum deal and a bum therapist. I hope you can find someone who is a good fit for you.
Know we're here and we care and you can say anything on here that you need to. Take care of yourself and remember that you matter.
Allie
