Herpes, HPV & Other STDs

Hello,

I received a call today from my GYN that I have an abnormal PAP smear (atypical squamous cell changes?). I'm shocked because I get a PAP done every 6 months because of endometriosis and I have been in a monogamous relationship for about a year and a half and this is the first abnormal one. My doc said that the HPV part of the test comes back next week, but she's pretty sure it's HPV and wishes that I had gotten the vaccine when she told me to get it. I was unsure about the vaccine at the time she offered it, and it never came up again.

I'm nervous and scared. I sat down with my boyfriend this evening and told him what was going on and asked him point blank if he's been faithful. He swears up and down that he has been (I have been too) and he's not the type of guy to lie or even be able to do that behind my back.

I'm going for a colposcopy at the beginning of November.

I guess I'm asking "what's next?" I don't know anyone with HPV, so I'm pretty nervous.

Thank you.

HPV can lay dormant for years before it shows any signs or symptoms, it can show itself if a person's immune system is low, stress can bring it out also. I know it's tough when these kinds of things come up, but it'll be ok. And as far as the vaccine goes, it only protects against the 4 most common, but there are more than 100 different types; 30 of which cause cancer. There's a good chance that at least one person/woman you know has the virus as well, it's an incredibly common virus (unfortunately). My advice to you is research, research, research. If you have any questions, just ask. I recommend the book "What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About HPV & Abnormal Pap Smears" by Joel Palefsky. It's an older book, but it's very informative. Stay in touch. :)

The other woman who responded is absolutely correct. If you or your boyfriend had been with anyone else before the two of you got together, you could have gotten it then. HPV can lie dormant in your system for years and usually brings forth abnormal cells due to high levels of stress or a weakened immune system.

I also agree with doing lots of research now to educate yourself on what you can do for your own body besides just what your Gyno will do. When I found out I immediately started eating better and got on a really good vitamin regimen. After a while the abnormal cells went away. Mine have recently come back, and a little worse, most likely because I had a baby and never got back into my vitamin regimen and slacked on my healthy diet. Besides of course the stress caused just by having an infant.

All I can tell you is that you're not alone. I was mortified when I found out I had HPV 2 1/2 years ago. I had only heard things about cancer when I heard HPV. But the more I talked to girlfriends about what was going on, the more I found out that quite a few of my friends had dealt with this. And it helped to be able to talk to them, as well as the women on this board.

Now, even though the abnormal cells I have are worse than before, I'm not letting myself get psyched-out. I'm back on the vitamins and doing more research online about anything else I can take to boost my immune system and fight this. If you're interested in taking vitamins, I would be more than happy to give you a list of some of the things I read about.

The best thing to do is basically do what your doctor suggests when it comes to paps and colposcopies. The fact that you go every 6 months already is actually good. The sooner they see abnormal cells, the sooner they can be treated if necessary. I spoke with my Gyno about this recently, and she basically said that if you try your best to be healthy and do what needs to be done as it comes, it's highly doubtful that it will turn into cervical cancer. If you do your research, most women who develop full blown cervical cancer from HPV do not get their paps done regularly, if they even go at all.

Thank you, ladies, for responding to my message. I was very nervous yesterday, but being able to sleep on it has seemed to calm me down a little bit.

I didn't know that HPV could lie dormant in your body. That's pretty scary to think about. I wonder if my GYN took this into account because on the phone she was like "I really wish you would have gotten the vaccine when I told you to", which was a year ago. I didn't like that it was as if she was scolding me, and if I've had HPV, the vaccine wouldn't have done anything anyway.

My next questions are in regards to my significant other. He is a wonderful man and we have been together for 1.5 years. When he says he's been faithful, I have no reason to assume that he's lying. When I first found out, I told him what I knew about HPV and when I found out that it could lie dormant in the system, I let him know that too.

The problem now is that he feels extremely guilty. He thinks it's his fault because he's had more sexual partners than I have (he's my 3rd, I'm his 9th) and the HPV must have come from him. I tried telling him that perhaps my 2nd guy cheated on me (which in hindsight is quite possible), but he is still holding the responsibility on his shoulders. I'm trying to get him to let go of the assumption that "he did this to me". I'm not mad at him - even if he did give it to me, what's the point in being mad? If I have it, I have it.

He is also very fearful of the 'worst case scenario' i.e. my getting cervical cancer. He said that he couldn't live with himself if he caused that to happen to me. I myself haven't jumped to any conclusion that I'm going to get cervical cancer, so he must have looked up HPV and decided that was what is going to happen.

Any information I give him right now is pointless because he feels guilty and scared. Do you ladies have any experience with this?

Thanks again.

My DH felt a bit guilty at first as well. He was my first and I was his 8th or 9th. But the thing is, he never could have known he had it. That's what sucks about the whole thing. You can go out and get blood tests in hopes to not transmitt STDs, except for HPV. There is no test for men currently, and most women our age are only tested if their pap comes back abnormal because unfortunately it is assumed that we probably have it already. That's just the way it is.

I would make sure to tell him that you could have gotten it from him or either of your other partners and never have known. The main thing I told my husband is that he could never have known, and that did help. And for us, since he was my first, there really would never have been a way for me to not get it if we did know. Sure, we could've used condoms if had known, but when we decided to trying for a baby, then what.

There are all these factors that come into play that you just can't stop. The only people who will never get it are virgins who only have sex with other virgins. And that's that. Try and calm him down and get the statistics on how many of these cases actually become cervical cancer these days. The number is very low. There are quite a few stories out there of women who've died from cervical cancer and had HPV, but you will find that most of them didn't get checked like they should have, which means that when it was caught it was probably too far along to help. They've immediately found your abnormal cells, and that's a good thing. So you have to be happy about that.

Let me know if you need to talk at all. I completely know what you're going through.