discussion title:
How do you let someone know?
Ok, I was just newly diagnosed with HSV2 this past summer. I never knew I had Herpes until the bloodwork came and confirmed it during a routine Pap, which I get every year, but this dr. said not everyone will check for Herpes virus during routine testing unless you specifically ask for it. I thought telling them that I wanted to be checked for "Everything" meant checking me for Everything! Obviously not. So, there's no telling how long I have had this virus or who I caught it from since I have never really had the initial "bad breakout" that everyone says is most common with Herpes. As a matter of fact, I never knew I had any breakouts until after doing some research and learing more about HSV2 and then looking back and thinking that maybe that wasn't an ingrown hair. I haven't been with anybody since May 2008. I was diagnosed in summer 2009. At this time, I've been getting close with someone, just talking right now, no physical contact. I guess the question that bothers me the most is -
How do you tell someone you like, that you have herpes? How long do you wait before you tell them, or do you just wait until things have a chance of becoming physical?
I feel like I'm keeping this secret and I also feel like I'm stopping this person from finding someone else who doesn't have this disease, who can be free to have sex anytime without having to worry about catching something from me. I know I am trying to still come to terms with having Herpes, with the social stigma that is attached to it. I also know that 1 in 4 people have it and have healthy relationships. As I said before, I don't think I ever really had an outbreak and my dr. told me some people are just carriers of the disease and they never get it, but they can pass it on. I'm just having a hard time in how to deal with telling someone if the issue of sex comes up. I know it's not easy and there's always the fear of rejection. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I just didn't date or see anyone. Then I wouldn't have to tell them and everything would be ok.
Please help me in dealing with this situation if it ever does come up. I appreciate all input, Thanks :)
