Herpes, HPV & Other STDs

I'd like some support.  I know what my head tells me but am so confused?

I had dated a man for 1 year - I thought exclusively and we did not use protection- condoms most of the time.

At the end of the year to my horror I busted him on actually dating another women for the past 3 years- we both did not know about the other.  He left her and I demanded he have a std test and turns out he has genital herpes- he had the blood test and has so he said never had a outbreak...didnt even know he had it.

Said probably from his first wife who cheated on him often.  I let it go and decided only protected sex from now on and no oral.  He never contacted his ex wife or ex girlfriend to figure it out even though I asked him for peace of mind.  I thought it so odd he had genital herpes and I slept with him every weekend for a year and nothing?  Dont get me wrong- very glad nothing!

So we slowly work things out and boom  a two years later I show up with genital warts?  I have never had a std in my life and he says I probably got from him.  We had used protection but it was in an area not covered by a condom?  Im hysterical now because I have been with no one but him for three years- and Im not sure how warts just up and popped up out of no where?  I read the incubation time is up to 8 months and in rare cases years?

So I dont take this lightly.  I contact his ex's both of them.  This is my body and my life and he's blaming them and both cooperate with me so much so they send copies of medical records- no STD"S on either sides. 

So basically- his excuse of getting them is out the door?  I guess this means indeed he is a cheat.  He has already shown me he cheated with me and since his past two relationships equally together 13 years in all have nothing- I dont know what to think at this point.

Do you think its likely this all caught up with him at once.  Like he had genital herpes all this time but no outbreaks and turns out he didnt pass on and the same with genital warts?  Can genital warts stay in your system all this time?  He did start having outbreaks- after he told me about it.  I just don't know what to think he swears he didn't cheat.

Thoughts?

Hi there,

I know how stressful this can be, as I went through a similar situation two years ago.

I was in a relationship and I thought we were both exclusive, had the talk, the whole 9 yards.  I found out that he was seeing not one but FOUR girls behind my back the whole time that we were together.  Totally disgusted me and I completely FREAKED!  About a month after I caught him, he told me that he "may" have been exposed to the herpes virus.

I have been tested every 6 months for the past two years and have just recently developed what could be symptoms.  Went to my gyno and was tested with swabs and blood work coming back negative, so hopefully it's something else. 

I will be going every three months for the next year to be tested and swabbed. 

Don't stress, it's not the end of the world.  Genital warts are very treatable (and curable) and herpes is controlable.  It sucks that it's the gift that keeps on giving from such a crappy guy, but not every guys sucks and is going to do nasty things to you.

I know several people that have herpes and have been able to have healthy, happy relationships (kids, marriage - the whole 9's) in spite of the diagnosis.  If you do find out that you've aquired herpes, make sure you begin suppression therapy immediately. 

It's scary but you will get through it and be a better person!

Cuppy