Stress & Women

martha-diane, hello.  You do have a lot to deal with right now.  I doubt anyone else can even imagine what is going on in another person's life.  You did not note, if your husband's unemployment is due to a medical cause or lay off. 

Are the 4 medicines working?  If you are still having the symptoms they are suppose to relieve, you might want to talk with your therapist further about them.

You didn't say if your mother is ill and that is why she is living with you, or because of her financial constraints.  Can we assume that dh and your mother get along?  My parents are in their mid eighties and very active.  Perhaps your mother could visit an adult day care several days a week?  Or a senior center, where she could make some friends with her cohorts. 

From what you have described, I wonder if everyone in your house is frustrated due to the current circumstances?  Especially if they are not doing something productive throughout the day. 

As for work....unfortunately there are many many jobs out there that are toxic.  My husband went from one that he was in for 15 years, to our move to another city, where he is in another one.  I am back in school and I find it toxic most of the time too.  What I have found helpful in my past jobs and in school now, is to focus on the work...focus on the work.  It's my mantra...lol.  It's kind of like "mindfulness".

Make sure that you take care of yourself.  Set some boundaries with your family and coworkers.  Get plenty of sleep, eat right, get out and get some exercise (pleasant kind...not work), and be sure to take time to play and laugh.  Perhaps renting a funny movie would be a good idea for all of you. 

Here is my "Survival Guide":

1. Work in small pockets of time
2. Work at a realistic pace
3. Use a journal or list for your memory
4. Feed the soul every day
5. Treat the body with health in mind
6. Make the job enjoyable
7. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is your Life

Keep posting...we're listening.  Blessings.

I'm glad to read that you are working with the therapist on the past trauma.  From what you have written, I wonder if your mother was also one of your uncles victims.  Is the abuser her brother?  If she was, then acknowledging yours would mean that she has to deal with hers.  I could be way off base here and even if she was, it's possible that you might never get her to admit that anything happened.  Family members have the most difficulty acknowledging abuse by another family member. 

Perhaps your therapist can help you change your perception of your mother, altering anger to pity (for her ignorance and lack of strength).  You however, told.  That is a strength that you can be proud of.  Not only did you have the strength; you had it as a child. 

You must have a lot of positive attributes, if your mother "chose" you to live with.  From what you have written, she is frail enough that the person she lives with would most likely be someone that she would trust her life with.  She chose you.  She knows that you had strength when she did not.

You may have to set some boundaries with her.  Especially when she talks about the uncle.  Simply telling her that "We don't talk about him in this house.  He's a pedophile.  He's sick."  Speak the truth out loud.  If she continues, then you may have to say "Enough Mom.  Please respect my rules in this house."  You had the strength to speak up as a child.  You have the strength as an adult to enforce your boundaries.

I hope this is of some help.  Blessings to you and your family.