Good morning whatami. I can tell, just from your name that you are having some anxiety issues. Your posts support that assumption...lol. Is this anxiety something that has just started? I looked at your profile, but nothing was filled in, so I am going to assume that you are a young woman. Often that is the time in our lives that anxiety creeps up on us.
Has something recently happened to alter your perception on life, or have you always felt this way? I realize I am asking a lot of questions, but so often our response is based on what little we do know about the poster.
To answer your post...Yes, I have felt that way too. So much so that I used to cry all the way home from work (the only time alone), and not know why the tears. I have what I like to call, "Conversations with God". Other people may term it differently, but...hey...that's their perception. One dark night on my way home, the tears began to flood my eyes..suddenly. I slowed the car down and finally asked, "Why do I keep crying? Who am I crying for?" My answer was, "You are crying for the people of the world." It was one of the strong points in my life that I began to realize that even though my body might appear to be alone, I am never really alone. It was one of the times that I began to realize that I had been putting my faith in man. Though it is fine to have faith in people, it is not fine to have your faith based on mankind. I am not preaching. I just want to offer you the idea that a higher power does exist, and sometimes we have to put our faith, strength and will there. If we place that in mankind, we will inevitably be let down. After all, mankind is made up of men and women just like yourself. People with human frailties, looking for answers such as "what am i?"
It reads like you are going through a philosophical period in your life. This is good, as long as the "rants" are not trashing your life. Everyone has something that they are passionate about in life. Perhaps the planet is where your passion lies. If you can, why not look into doing some work for an agency, company, etc in your area? Even if it is volunteer work, just knowing that you are taking some steps in promoting and supporting what you are passionate about, can be helpful.
I would love to hear more from you and some of the decisions (if any) that you chose to make.
