I'm definitely not living the best life i could be and it's getting me down. I dont know how to change it. I've had a rough year. Went through a bad breakup a year ago, but the man was never really out of my life until last week. He has made me feel really terrible about myself (basically wouldnt committ) I also got laid off last year, got in a car accident (i was fine, but car was totalled) and at the beginning of last year i lost my 13 year old golden retriever. I've had a lot of negativity in my life over the past few years, starting with a divorce at the age of 25 about 6 years ago. So now i'm 31, not old, but feeling like life will always be negative. I thought i'd be married with kids by now, but here i am alone and wondering about my future. My past few relationships have been disastrous. I never know when to leave when tehy get bad. Last winter was awful for me, i basically just sat on my coach every nigth and drank wine. I'm watching my friends get married, move on with their lives and my life seems to be standing still. I have been at my new job for about a month and a half and i dont like it. It's a sales position with a ridiculous quota to fulfill. It's tough to look for another job when you are already in one though
I just want to be happy. I want to forget about the guy who just hurt me, i want to focus on myself. I find that i lose my way so quickly. One week i might do great with the gym and what i'm eating, the next week it might all go to hell. It's like i cant even take care of myself. My place is a mess, i have no motivation to clean it. I'm probably depressed. I just want to be someone different...but i dont know how to change.
