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Dealing With Difficult People

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discussion title:
 

Help ME

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message #:
  6623.1
replies:
  2
from:
  bluesky2009
date:
  4/5/2009 9:25 pm

To begin with I started this job back in August 2008. I had not been feeling well before that and seek counseling. I have since stopped counseling to expensive and did not seem to help. Where I work my husband is a Supervisor there. Not my Supervisor. During my time at counseling. My husband was having an interment affair with an employee there.  I discovered it on line on Facebook. They would chat on line and then he would let's say "relieve himself" after. Having found this out in Oct. 2008 we have been trying to make the marriage work. but, it is hard he lied and said that she is not there has been gone for 3 weeks or more on vacation. I know it is a lie because you have to be there 8 years before you get 3 weeks. So now he says that she is not there but does not know where she is at. And will not ask doesn't want to draw any attention to it. Which I can understand if he is telling the truth. I just don't know if I believe him or not. He is friends with the other Supervisor but, maybe they do not know. At the time of finding this out I email the other woman. And she sent me a email back explaining that it was all Internet not meant to hurt anyone. My husband says that they did not meet outside the work place. But one night going to counseling my husband kept calling me on the cell phone wondering where I was at. At that time I did not know about the affair. The counselor sent me home early because she said the weather was bad. There was talk of it on the radio but I never ran into any problems. So that night has always bothered me. Was she here with him and he was just checking to see where I was at. Also one day at work when it was getting close to shutdown. We had this hellish freakish blizzard. ( You have to understand that I we live right across the road  form work). Anyway we were told to stay at work till the storm let up. Well it wasn't long and it did. Funny thing is that when I got home the area looked fine. The way the wind was blowing so hard you would think there would of been some sort of evidence of it. I've always wondered if they had some big fans running outside to blow the snow around so I could not see our house.I often wonder if maybe she was there here than night if even for the fact that my husband wanted to break it off. Or to teach me a lesson to not go out in advanceing storms but, I honestly never ran into any trouble that night, but they were predicting it. MY fellow co-workers just kept smiling at me and telling me that they could not believe that I didn't go home as I just lived across the road that they would and just stand there with a smile on there face or funny smirk. Anyway moving foreword I find myself being very supiciouness of people at work including the Supervisors. Maybe they are trying to get me to leave. I live in a small town and there is no other work I believe my husband is behind all my problems at work. I have no friends anyone that I have consider a friend before has always stabbed me in the back. I would like one true friend to tell me the truth if it hurts or not and to have people stop playing with my mind. You cannot treat people this way. If you are not strong enough it will push you over the edge. There is no talking to my husband he just gets made about it. I'm the nutty one. If I do come home and talk to him about it. they very next day  there are all these corincidences that coincides with our conversation  the night before. Which makes me wonder if he is telling them my conversation trying to make my life miserable. How can I get over this being suspiciousness of people at work or else were.
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discussion title:
 

Help ME

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  6623.2 in response to 6623.1
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  cl-norsk59  Member Icon
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  bluesky2009
date:
  4/13/2009 11:51 am

Hi bluesky. You are going through a lot. Both of you could benefit from some counseling.

If you feel that people at work know about it and are laughing or talking about it I would put the blame exactly where it belongs, on your husband.  I would also tell that husband to quit humiliating you  and either go to counseling with you or get out. Why should you have to suffer from his affair?

He sounds as if he has some problems. It is not fair to make you sufffer.

The affair may be an emotional affair or one of those on lines deals but is an affair never the less.

I know it has to be really bad for you because someone you love is letting you down. You need to do some thinking as to how long you you can stand to put up with this.

Also if people are joking about it at work please think about getting a different job. Let us know what happens. Take care. MaryAnne

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