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Dealing With Difficult People

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discussion title:
 

demeaning comments

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message #:
  6707.1
replies:
  4
from:
  whiz2005  Member Icon
date:
  Oct-18 12:49 am

Hi to all. Awhile back I had posted about one particular individual that was making my life miserable. Had to have an audience for the putdowns. Doesnt matter if it's a department, marketing, etc. this individual will find fault and twist the conversation around. So the new boss suggested I write up an incident, since there were witnesses to the negative comments--in front of co-workers, secretaries, etc. Turns out it was used against me and the boss said if there were any more complaints, then it was either a day off without pay and/or possible termination. The boss did say she would speak to this person about the negative comments. So, a few months go by. Then it starts again. In front of other managers, vendors, etc, this person starts up. Calls another department. Asked me why something wasnt done. The other department was busy and couldnt accommodate the request. Then, in front of everyone, this person mentioned that they hoped I wouldnt train the new secretary and give them bad habits.  Then, in front of another individual, the same person says that i make them so mad they would like to shake me. Mostly people just stopped what they were doing and just stood there with their mouths open. This includes another department head, vendors, insurance reps, secretaries, co-workers. All are witnesses. They didnt say anything. So what is the next step? Write them up again? Go to the boss who didnt support me but wanted me to write it up anyway (the prior incident). This person only singles me out to publically castrate, but will complain about other departments. As long as there is an audience. Ideas?
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discussion title:
 

demeaning comments

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  6707.2 in response to 6707.1
replies:
  4
from:
  cl-norsk59  Member Icon
to:
  whiz2005  Member Icon
date:
  Oct-18 9:35 am

Hi whiz. That sounds awful. It sounds as if this person is harrassing you. The problem is that the bosses are not doing anthing about it.

I think it is time to look for something else When you have no one to back you up the situation is pretty hopeless.

Have you gotton together with the boss and this other person privately to see why you are being harrassed? Is is jealousy? Does she do this to others?

I would really try to get to the bottom of this. Otherwise you need to make a change. It is unfortunate the way the economy is now but the problem is not being solved.

Some of those comments are really insulting such as ''teaching others bad habits. Why these comments are tolerated I don't know but something is amiss. Please let me know how it goes. MaryAnne

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Oct-18


messages posted
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discussion title:
 

demeaning comments

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message #:
  6707.3 in response to 6707.2
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  4
from:
  whiz2005  Member Icon
to:
  cl-norsk59  Member Icon
date:
  Oct-18 2:49 pm

To answer some of your Q's: This has been going on for at least 1-2 years.  There was one incident where a co-worker acted as a neutral third party and tried to defuse things. This person kept saying that I dont get "it" whatever it is. The individual will try and say she never ordered supplies from marketing even though she did, then try and blame me. I feel the personal public attacks need to stop. So my question is: do I write up the incident and give it to the boss? Get the witnesses involved? Mostly, people were just stunned and didnt say anything in front of this person when the tirade started. I suppose they dont want to get involved or glad it wasnt them. I seem to be the target, although other departments have been on the receiving end, about efficiency, etc., but never on a personal level. Then again, I dont know about other individuals in the departments. Does this person have a superior?  Not really. Surely there is a standard of conduct somewhere about defaming a person's character.
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discussion title:
 

demeaning comments

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  6707.4 in response to 6707.3
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from:
  milocat2006
to:
  whiz2005  Member Icon
date:
  Oct-19 8:35 am

I say write it up and give it to HR, copying your boss. It's time to get to the bottom of this, whether it means you get in trouble or not....You'll see from my post this morning that I've got a similar problem....let's hope we both survive this!  good luck.
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