Coping with Job Loss

I have never posted on this board and I may not even be in the right palce but all the input I can get is helpful at this point.

I am having a slight issue and I am hoping that maybe I could get some outside opinions......

Here's the situation:

I started a job back in May and I really like it well, I had done really well at it getting compliments from my boss and other people in the company including the President and V.pres....well I was hired through a temp service and they asked me to go perm at the end of three months..I accepted.Sshortly after that (a week maybe# I locked my keys in the car and on my key ring were the keys to my office at work. Well I was already having a bad morning #car trouble, dead cell phone# now this...I went into my boss's assistant's office and asked if she had another key to my office#I knew she did b/c of another incident on the Friday before where she had to get into my office when I wasn't there)She said she didn't have one and I said that I locked my keys in the car and couldn't get into my office, she told me to go get them(my keys#... so I just turned around and walked away. Went and called AAA and my DH about the car.I went back into her office and told her I again wanted to find a way into my office and mentioned that my keys were LOCKED in my car and I was just having a bad day and needed a little help to which she replied*screaming*Everybody has bad days...I have bad days too and you are not to bring them to work....again I just walked away and just then my shoe broke.....worse day!!! One of my other co-workers asked if I was ok and I said No, I just got yelled at. By this time I was having trouble breathing*was having a panic attack* and apparently she followed me out and my co-worker asked her why she yelled at me to which she replied*screaming*you shut up, you weren't there you don't know what happened!Well then people were all trying to help me and ended up calling the paramedics who then called my DH to come get me. While all of this was happening AAA came and unlocked my car and got my keys so I was going to stay at work and the medics said not a good idea so  I called my boss to let her know I was not going to be there when she came in and a little about why...panic attack and having a bad day...she said ok take the day and get better come back in tomorrow if you feel better. I went home and called my Dr. b/c of my already high BP he wanted to see me the next AM to check me out. I called my boss that same afternoon to let her know I would be in late and she was giving me a really big attitude and told me she was upset with what had happened. I asked if she was upset with me and she said yes kind of b/c of the way I handled the situation and b/c I involved other people namely the coworker who asked if I was ok which in turn involved his manager and now the rest of the managers in the company. She said when I hired you I told you that the accounting dept is a team and we all watch out for each other no matter what, you involved a lot of people and now I look bad and my dept. looks bad. I told her I didn't think I did anything wrong and she wouldn't listen to me, I started to get upset and my DH was there he told me to hang up the phone b4 I had another panic attack. I told her I had to go and I would be there in the morning after the doctor. She said that was fine b/c she was making some changes anyway and it would be better if I came in later she also told me to write a report about what had happened. I went in the next morning after the doctor and my office was moved so that  I was now in the same office as the co-worker who initially caused me to have the panic attack. I told my boss I didn't think that this new arrangement was healthy for me and she replied that it it her dept. and she will do what she feels is best for the dept. I questioned whether it mattered about my health and she told me she thinks I am unstable and that now she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around me b/c she doesn't know how i will react and she can't work like that. She asked me if I brought the report she asked I write and I told her that I hadn't finished it, she said that I should go home and I couldn't come back without it. I said ok and she asked me if I would have it done the next day and I said yes, she asked what time I would be in and I said 9 am like I am everyday she said ok I'll see you at 10#she usually doesn't come in until 11am). I left and went into work the next morning and started work, I was VERY uncomfortable and Was very nervous but I tried to keep my cool. When my boss showed up she rudely told me to go to her office and proceeded to ask me "what time did I tell you to be here!" I answered 9 she said no, I told you to be here at 10. I corrected her and reminded her of the conversation we had about what time I would be there. She apparently does not like to be corrected so again she told me how unstable she thought I was and asked if I had the report which I produced for her, I had actually emailed it to her along with the President and V. President of the company. She then asked if I brought a doctor's note regarding my condition and my limitations, I said no and she told me to go home and I could come back when I had that. I went home and called the Dr. who told me to come in the next day, he wrote me a note saying that I suffer from panic disorder and that I should be moved back out of that office for health reasons. I faxed it to her. I called and asked if that would be ok and if I should come in the next day, she said it did not say what my limitations were and that she was talking to the Hr dept to find out more, she sent me an email with a packet of papers attached that I was to have filled out by my doctor. the papers were a request for disability accommodation since panic disorder is a disability. I faxed that to my doctor who said he was not a specialist and could not fill out the papers so he referred me to a psych Dr. I saw the psych and he filled out the papers for me. I faxed them to her and she said that they were not filled out correctly and that she would need authorization to speak to my doctor. I said no that I didn't feel comfortable with that. So she wrote a letter and emailed it to me for my doctor where she asked that all information be sent directly from his office.( like I was filling out the paperwork myself. )I gave it back to the psych Dr. who corrected the information that was wrong and faxed it back to her. She now has sent me a new letter stating that I can come back to work as long as I agree that I will have an eval done by a Dr. that they choose. I am supposed to go to work on Wednesday. I have done some reading on the things that she has done. And on the EEOC Website what she has done is considered retaliation and discrimination against my disability. The first panic attack happened on August 25th and it has taken until now to get to this point.

If you have gotten to this point I appreciate you taking the time to read this and welcome any and all comments and advice.

   

Wow! What a jerk your boss is! I think there are a few things going on here:
1. Since you had just be hired on permanently and the dispute with the keys was with somebody who'd been there for a while, especially your boss's own personal assistant, your boss took her assistant's side.

2. Some people just do not believe that psychological disabilities like panic attacks are real and don't take them seriously. She sounds like she is one of those people.

3. This really sounds like a case of "misery loves company". Many people feel like work always has to come first and are scared to take any time off even when they are legitimately sick. When somebody else takes a sick day, they are quick to judge. They expect everybody to just shut up and bear it and put the company first. There is nothing wrong with balancing your job and your health, but in too many industries and for too many individuals the job always has to come first and asking for any type of concessions for your health is viewed negatively. Your boss is probably one of those people with that attitude.

I think she has already decided that she wants you gone. She is hoping to replace with you who will go along with anything she says. Of course, she knows the law is on your side and if she just fired you, you could sue the company. She is hoping that by asking you to provide more and more doctor information, you will either quit on your own or not be able to provide the necessary information and then she can use that in court against you.

Have you spoken to HR about what is happening? It's possible they may be able to get her to back off if they hear your side of the story.

If it continues after you've spoken to HR, I would look into speaking to a lawyer about your options. Their might be local civil rights groups that can help you out or tell you where to find a good lawyer. If not, you can check your phone book for lawyers that specialize in this type of a thing. Some times they will offer a free first consultation or hold off on having you pay anything unless you sue and win.

I would also hold off on going to the doctor that your boss wants you to see until you speak to a lawyer about whether or not it's a good idea. I'd be nervous that she'd find some quack doctor who will give you the diagnosis the company wants to hear and then use that against you if it gets to court. You already have two doctors who have testified to your disorder so that should be enough.

Thank you for your support on this. It helps to have people other than those who love you validate what you are feeling. My DH is ready to go to my job and tell everybody which way to go if it would make me feel better about having to be there...LOL  

Well to update: I did go back to work on Wednesday and it has been an adventure to say the least!! I was told to be there at 10am which I was. I then waited until 12:30 for my boss to come in. I was really mad that she was so inconsiderate having me wait 2 & 1/2 hours. Well when she finally got there I respectfully stood up to greet her and she came over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek asked me how I was and said that she missed me!!!! WTH?? Well I followed her into the office and she told me that I was to sit where she had moved me after the situation that had started all of this mess to begin with and instead of argue again and ask to be moved again and start a whole other situation with more papers and BS I sat there. She told me they had just done some changing and the office next door was being finished up and that is where I would be the next day. I said I understood(not really I was gone for 2 months and this is as far as they got a doorway and a desk in the office???) Well I proceeded to do my work which by the way had not been done hardly at all since I left. Ordinarily that would not be a bad thing but what was done was done wrong and there is one contract that we have which we charge a CC every week for about $40,000 and that ad not been done at all so I spent the entire day charging all of the invoices for that customer. Well at the end of the day I went in to say goodnight and let it be known I was leaving and she told me that she had changed her mind and the other woman would be moving into that office and I would be sitting in her desk. I was a little upset to be totally honest but I said ok and went home. All in all things have been alright and for the most part peolpe have not asked too many questions. I like it that way. Other that my boss making off the wall comments like when there was a guest in her office and she asked me to do something I did it and she said "she was gone for 2 months and I don't know what I did without her" WTH? Then she said to me while she was explaining the most important things to be done said "Well, Veronica you had a 2 month vacation and now there is a lot for you to catch up on." WTHx2????

Well the company I work for is on the small side only about 70 employees. and as far as the HR dept the woman I had the issue with IS the HR person. My boss is the CFO and the only people above her are the Pres and VP. The company uses a staffing company for payroll, insurance, and legal stuff. For the record when all of this happened I did call the staffing company's HR dept for help and the man I spoke with agreed with me that I had been treated unfairly and said that he was going to see what he could do for me and call me back. Well he didn't call back and wen I called him he told me that he spoke to his supervisor and she had already been working with my boss so it was out of his hands!! Well when I spoke to his supervisor she is the one who told me that they may not be able to acknowledge my accomodation request if I did not give the authorization for them to speak to my doctor. I said not and that if there was more info that they needed to give it to me in writing and I would pass it on. So my boss wrote a letter to my doctor undermining my request to pass everything through me and put in the letter to send all original paperwork via mail to her directly and on his letterhead. He said that wasn't necessary and that maybe she should be in his office. LOL .Honestly if I didn't need this job I would  have left already but if I quit I can't even collect unemployment while I look for another job. At least I got that while I was out of work for reduced hours. I have done some reading on the EEOC website and from what I can tell, what they have done qualifies as disibility discrimination due to the comments about me being "unstable" after her knowing about my panic disorder and retaliation due to the amount of times they denied my paperwork and documentation along with the stipulation of me not being able to come back to work without agreeing to go to their doctor for an evaluation. I just have to go to the office in Miami to filr the paperwork and now I am affrid to ask for he time off to do it.

Well, as always any additional advice is appreciated!!! And thank you again for reading my update that seems to be longer than I anticipated. LOL

 

Wow that sounds like a woman I used to work for. She wasn't playing with a full deck of cards most of the time.

The advice that i will give you is document, document, and document more. Everything that is said with dates and times. That if something happens and you need to go see the EEOC everything is documented. I would go see an employment lawyer about how to document all this and have it be useable in court if it goes that far.

I have panic attacks also and have gotten them greatly in control. It took a LONG time and I do have my bad days. I had a panic attack on Sunday and had my meltdown. My riding instructor was with me and talked me off the edge enough to go in and ride my dressage test. After it was done she insisted I take my horse for a ride around the showgrounds and just relax. By the time I dismounted both me and the horse were calmed down again.