Coping with Job Loss

I stumbled across this board, and I so wish I'd known about it two years ago. Two years ago this week, my husband was laid off for what was to be the first of two times in four months. Insurance sales is not a good business in this economy. I remember so well the fear, the anger, and the disbelief I felt when he came home and told me he'd been let go. He got another job within a month, only to be laid off again, two months later. We even went through a nasty battle with one employer who falsely claimed that he'd been fired for insubordination and therefore shouldn't get unemployment benefits. She couldn't prove it, because you can't prove things that didn't happen, and we won. He found another job two months later and has been employed there since.

Being unemployed was hard then, and I can't imagine how hard it is now. It was tough on our finances, our marriage, every aspect of our lives. I've read a couple of your posts, and I can hear your pain, remembering my own. It is hard, and it leaves scars that stay with you.

I don't know if it helps to hear that someone understands. I hope it helps to hear someone who's been there say that it can and it will get better. I never thought it would for us, but it did, and somehow, someday, it will for you, too.

And, if I may, a word for the spouses/significant others in the group. I remember feeling so alone when my husband was unemployed. Here I was, scared out of my mind, and all anyone seemed to ask about was him. "How's your husband?" "Any luck with the job hunt?" More than anything, I wished for someone to say, "How are YOU?" I wound up putting graduate school on hold and going back to work full-time, because that's what it took to keep our family afloat. It just seems like people forget or don't even recognize the fear, the sadness, and the sacrifice that the spouse makes in that situation. If anyone out there is in that boat, I'm here for you.

I hope some little part of this helps somebody. All of you who are unemployed, and your families, are in my prayers. God bless.

Thanks so much for your post. I do need to hear positive reinforcement and encouragement, especially now. It is really really difficult for the significant others too. Me and my fiance have been on the verge of breaking up several times because of his unemployment. I know there have been other problems too in the relationship, but the unemployment has been a HUGE thing that has been causing a lot of the tension, arguments and sadness between us.  I feel hopeless right now about the situation. It's been over 5 months now, he's applied to at least a hundred and most likely more jobs, and has had 3 interviews but no job yet. He's even applying to go back to school to be a radiology technologist or an occupational therapist and he has to jump through a million hoops for that too. There are not enough classes and schools for this and it's like winning the lottery to get in. Sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore. We both feel hopeless  and the stress is a huge downer on our relationship. I really want to be a mother and I'm 34 and not a lot of time to have children and he doesn't know what's going to happen or when he wants to be a father because he has no financial stability.  This could break us up because I want to be a parent and he doesn't even know when he will be able to be in a position for that. Sigh, I just feel like crying so often.