Coping with Job Loss

I posted here a few months ago about my pending job loss. I had back surgery last year and I am still healing from that.

Well my job ended last Friday and my immediate plan was to rest and relax. The final months of my job was the most stressful time of my life. Just knowing the job was ending and at the time I was applying for internal positions that were available. Since I last posted those available positions were informed that they too was being laid off and the entire operations in the building I worked in was moving to another state/country. There is no chance of staying or going back to that building or those jobs.

So I am resting and relaxing. I filed for unemployment and I have been contacted by family/friends who have positions available but in other states. Good positions.....exactly the types of jobs I would want.

Since my back is still healing my moving to another state right away just seems like an impossibility. I am 50 years old, single with no children but my family (albeit small) live around me close including my nieces and nephew. They help me as much as they can and I have become to be more self sufficient.

I have no idea what my next move is. Do I want to apply for Social Security Disability and make a considerable amount less than what I was making (bankruptcy would be necessary) or do I want to find a median job locally (I live in California which the unemployment rate is high) which the pay would be less than what I was currently making OR I can relocate picking the best job with the best pay I can find. (What I want to do is move to Florida to be with the man I have known for 3 years and as of January have been discussing a possible future with but he doesn't offer that up each time we talk about my relocating so I guess I am on my own).

I see a counselor biweekly and he helps a lot. I was given an unbelievable severance package so right now and probably the first year money is not an issue. I can afford to relocate and will not have to worry about money anytime soon.

This isn't about money...it's about I am a middle aged woman who has never taken a risk in her life and knows that now is the perfect chance to step out of her safety zone. I want that but I have spent the past 4 days on the computer and watching TV. I have left the house but prefer to just spend the day in my pajamas. I want to believe that is fine for now because I am seriously exhausted. My health is doing great and my back pain is minimal compared to the way it was the past several months.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any thoughts and support is needed. I want the best life I can have but I have frozen in my pajamas.

Hi cinderellawannabe :) I was just lurking around different boards this evening and saw your post. I just wanted you to know your story was read, and that I am thinking of you and wishing you all the best. I think you deserve some rest and relaxation. Take some time for yourself to heal and de-stress before taking the big step of bravely taking a risk or stepping out of your comfort zone. A big ((((HUG)))) to you and I hope there are many positive changes awaiting you in the near future. :)

If you truly want to know what your heart wants to do than try this exercise. Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor and hands at your side. Relax your entire body and breath deeply. State your next move out loud - such as "I am taking X job and moving to X." See how your body reacts to this. If your stomach lurches or clenches than chances are you are resistant to that option. If you feel a sense of excitement than you probably want that option but are too afraid to admit it to yourself.

Your male friend may be hesitant to say anything about moving there. Moving in with someone when you are unemployed and/or unsettled is very difficult. He would feel responsible for your happiness. You would be w/o your family and friends in Florida so at the beginning it would be hard. Especially w/o a job of your own! If this is one of the options you really like, consider asking him to put you up for a couple of weeks while you look for a job in the area. Tell him you like the idea of Florida - so he knows it is not just for him. Make sure you do your homework, apply for jobs, etc BEFORE you go so you really on onto possible leads while you are there. If he doesn't like the idea of you coming out for a week or two - or he is resistant even if you plan on getting your own apt, then consider continuing your search for a partner :-)

Good luck,

Dee