Getting Fit in Your 30s

I finally saw Andrew today for the first time in more than a month and I still just don't know what to think.  When he cut back his calls to about once a week or just returning my calls, I started feeling like there was no chance for us to ever resume the relationship and that he was trying to pull himself completely out of my life. After today, I'm not so sure about that anymore.

We met for lunch after I got out of work (after working 4:00-12:00).  He greeted me with a big hug and seemed genuinely happy to see me.  All through lunch he was very warm and looked me in the eyes throughout our meal (the last time I saw him, which was the only other time we got together since we broke up, he seemed uncomfortable looking at me).  I think I now understand why he hasn't called as much since he says he has basically become a hermit lately. If he's not working or with his kids he's just taking time to be alone and get comfortable with himself again.  I told him it'd be nice to resume our conversations again even if it is just to talk about the day and he said yeah, he could really use the friendship right now.  That makes me think he's trying to cope with something personal (perhaps the circumstances surrounding his divorce) and the drop of in communication really had nothing to do with me. 

Also odd is that he has some friends (a couple) coming into town at the end of the month and he'd like me to go out with them to the Spy Museum (which we've talked about going to in the past).  That's kind of an unusual situation for us to send time together, but we'll see if it happens. He has in the past suggested doing things that just never happened.  When we parted after lunch he gave me another big hug and a kiss (on the lips, but a quick kiss), also confusing to me!  I feel like the feelings are still there but he isn't at a point in his life where he can acknowledge them.  I still don't know where this is going!  He'll have nearly 2 weeks while I'm gone on my big trip to Europe and Africa (and then another week when I'm on the crazy work schedule again) to think and to not have contact with me and we'll see where things stand when I get back.

   

Okay.

Seriously.

What is up with these men?? We can't read their mind. They send mixed signals and leave it up to our "womanly intuition" to try to guess what they really mean.

I think that there is definitely something there, but at the same time, I wouldn't make myself too available to him. The couples thing sounds interesting and I would go just to see where that takes you.

I think what gets to be frustrating is that, okay, they might have personal sh!t to deal with, but why does that mean that we have to wait idly by while they get it together. They can't be "IN" a relationship but they don't want you straying too far away either.

Women have been emotionally muti-tasking for years. Crap going on at home? Check. Crap going on at work? Check. Still being able to carry on a conversation about what you expect from another person? Check. Why is it that when a man is dealing with something else that gives them carte blanche to neglect everything and everyone else while they deal with it?

Whew. Bitter much? LOL

Anyways Stacy, I do think that there is something there, but it's really up to you how patient you want to be. Or just lay it on the line and tell him that if he's dealing with issues fine, but you want to know whether a romantic relationship is in the cards in the future or not.

 

Men suck

(and ditto to everything Miranda said)

I am ROFLMBO @ Sonia!

Stacy - I'm telling you - there is definitely something in the air. I think Andrew doesn't want the "pressure" of a full-blown relationship but still wants the companionship associated with one. The important thing is WHAT DO YOU WANT? You both will have a couple of weeks to think about it :-)