Debt Questions & Answers

I don't know which state you live in. About ten years ago my name was put on the deed by having my boyfriend sell his house to us. All you need is to spend a few dollars and get the right legal forms (one place to check is Bradford Publishing, you can get them on line, and some places like Office Depot carries a limited variety of forms), do it in front of a notary, and then file it with your county. It did not affect the mortgage at all.

Just to clarify, when I said my boyfriend sold his house to us for $5, we put down on the forms that he is the seller, and he and I are the buyer.

Later on when we broke up and I moved out, we sold it back to him alone for $5 again!

I don't know if other states are different but when we bought our house I put my husband on the deed and the mortgage is only in my name. We're in California. It was kinda confusing and I had to explain things to the Escrow lady several times so this could be where he's getting confused.

Good Luck!

Your boyfriend is incorrect.

You are paying for his asset.  He is on the deed to the house as the sole owner.  Not sure?  Go to your county recorder's office and look up the property.  This is public information open to anyone who walks in the front door.  Not sure what to do when you walk in the office?  Go to a counter and tell the clerk you want to look up a Deed and whatever else is recorded on a property.  Clerks at any of these offices can help you locate the property's unique number by street address or his name.  In my state it is called an Assessor's Parcel Number (APN).  Some of the info is on computer and older records may still be on microfiche.  Not a problem.  From there you can look up the Deed to that property and if I were a betting woman I bet he recorded that property under his name with some language that says "a single man as his sole and separate property"   That, my dear, tells you that he legally excluded you from that property (after he took your money).  No problem.  This, of course, is not carved in stone and can be easily changed.  But you will need his signature.  No one forced him to conveniently put that house in his name and drop kick you out of the way.  When escrow closed on the house he specifically signed documents putting his name on the Deed and left you off.  Somewhere along the line you were told that the mortgage and deed must be the same.  Never true.  Never.  But a surprising number of women believe this to be true.  Whenever you sign these Deed documents you can list however you wish.  Why?  Because how a piece of property is recorded (the Deed) is separate from the loan.  Example: I have a trust and the Deed to some property is recorded as The CG108 Family Trust, but the mortgage on some property isn't in the trust's name.  Not at all!  So, if he tries to shovel more baloney at you, then I dare say you are seeing more of your boyfriend than you saw before.  Anyone who will take your money and in return make promises to you, and does not keep his promise is a cheat and a liar.

I hope you can document every single dollar you have poured into this property.  Bank records, cancelled checks, deposits into your bank accounts and those expenditures for the mortgage and down payment.  Every last dollar supports your contention that both of you agreed you would be listed on the Deed even though he was only on the mortgage.  If he doesn't come clean and do the right thing, then I would not hesitate to file suit to get the money back.  I am serious.  This is a real deal breaker in any relationship and it's his choice.  He has done this to you.  This would be a simple case in court (provided you have checking and savings account info to show you actually paid out) and your boyfriend would look ridiculous claiming there was no oral agreement.  That down payment is satisfactory proof that you weren't just a renter.  Nope.  Any judge would look at the bank records, then look at your boyfriend and tell him straight up that you forked over money from the get-go and that makes him either a liar or an amoral cheat: which is it?

When you win you then have a judgment in your favor.  So what do you do?  You will love this (and he may have to change underwear).  You march right over to that same Recorder's Office, pay $20 or so and record that judgment.  Guess what.  It becomes a lien against that house.  He will not be able to refinance or sell until you are paid.  Oh yea: until he pays you off, your lien quietly earns interest.  In a matter of a few years the interest alone can exceed the original debt and that, my dear, is the other way you can get your name on your house and get paid when he tries to sell.

Either way you are in a position of strength here.  He doesn't know it yet.  So give him a chance to do the right thing by you.  Tell him to put your name on the Deed and I would want to be on that property as something like "ljpj1994, an unmarried woman with a 50% ownership interest" or similar language.  This is simply the business of living and how these matters should be handled.  If he refuses and then this is not a real man.  A real man wouldn't steal from a woman, especially a woman he is in a relationship with, take advantage of her feelings for him and lie to her.

Carolyn