Money & Relationships/Ask the Expert

Welcome to our board, Epf-dublin. What's the latest with your b/f? I know two different CPAs who are struggling with clients not paying him so his lack of funds is probably legit. Having said that, he has a financial background and should fully understand the importance of finding a supplemental income (not you) to help him thru the lean times.

What has since transpired with you guys? Chris  

Hi Chris- my bf is teaching accounting p/t at a school in town. Money from his clients are slowly starting to come back in. I think his lack of money is legit bc I see his checkbooks.

We get along great. The house interior renovations are coming along. He will start to become busy with taxes soon. He does personal, small business and corporate clients. He said he is going to teach me quickbooks and help him grow his business and pay me. I said, pls don't send me a 1099 or W-2 :)

Another question..Not sure if I need to be concerned or not. While relaxing in bed taking a nap this pm, he said as we were talking about the house stuff, he wants to keep the house in his name when we marry. He said it has nothing to do with me. He got screwed by his x wife when the judge told him he had to deed to house over to her. I believe the house was in both of their names when they were married. This house is deeded in his name. He said if something happens to him, the house will be mine, in his will. Should I be concerned or just go with the flow. I have never been married before nor do I know anything about this kind of stuff. I just want to make sure I am taken care of with the least amount of worry if something should happen to him. I live in Georgia. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being on a deed of a house or not on a deed of a house. If he loves me enough to marry me, then putting my name on the deed should not be an issue. Do we need to notarize a legal doc stating if the relationship breaks up, everything goes 50/50?...The only investment he has is this home. Because it is an historic home and it is a private residence, I am not sure or if I need to be concerned. With a will, you can change it anytime you want and not let the other person know. With a deed, both parties know and one party cannot sign off without telling the other party, correct? If I contact an attorney, it may stir up trouble which I don't want to do. I want to be fair because I am a fair person. I just don't want to be thrown out into the street if we have a knock out drag out fight when I am 65 with no job, nor prospects for one...Just want to protect my interests fairly just as he does. Obviously he love me enough to want to marry me then why would he say that. I am not his xwife nor would I do that to him. I just don't know if from a business standpoint if that is the right thing to do. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Hi, I had read your posts previously and I'm glad you have worked out most things.

I would definitely protect your interests. If I remember right, you were carrying most of the financial burden at this point, which would be of concern to me.

However, my opinion is that being married should not automatically give you a 50% interest in the property. I think the following may help you determine how you might deal with this possibility ownership:

1. How much equity does he have in the property?
2. How much equity did he have before this downturn in the economy?
3. How long has he had his property? In other words, how much money has he put into his payments, upkeep, repairs, etc. over time?

I'm in a situation similar to your fiance's; I have remarried and I am the sole owner of my property. I have been divorced before and as a single person I scrimped and saved, going without luxuries and wants for many years in order to pay my mortgage/taxes/insurance and to make about $100,000 of improvements in my property. I still pay the mortgage and the household bills. I could not just hand over any portion of this property, at least until I begin to feel his contribution has been equivalent. I have a huge investment of planning, self-discipline, do-it-yourselfing, and money here. I take a lot of pride in what I have done. I would not feel it was fair to give it away to anyone, not even someone I wanted to spend my future with.

My husband doesn't agree with my decision to keep this only in my name, by the way, but on the other hand, he has never offered to put any of his retirement funds in my name. I do however appreciate many of the investments, particularly in time and upkeep, that he has made in our home. Please understand that I see this as our home, even if it is in my name.

If you are feeling a little unappreciated because of his request, you could think about it this way: if you had an investment into which you had sunk thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) of dollars, would you feel okay with letting him take instant ownership in that investment?

If you are paying the household expenses or a portion of them, you may want to work out an agreement whereby you slowly gain a percentage of ownership.

I know I have only one perspective and others may have another. Good luck with it!