Money & Relationships/Ask the Expert

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Welcome to our community, Mochajavamama. The best thing to do is to give him some space and allow him time to evolve. If you don't hear from him in the next week or so, it's okay to text him or leave him a vm and just say that you're thinking about him.

But...give him enough space that he doesn't feel threatened or pushed into jumping into a new relationship too soon. It's takes 2 to kiss so no, there wasn't a problem with a kiss so soon.

With time, hopefully, he'll come around. It simply sounds like he's been burned and therefore has a guard up. Best of luck! Chris 

Hey there!

Who knows when or if this guy will ever warm up, so keep your mind open to dating other interesting men, and make plans with your girlfriends. This guy is not the center of the universe, and it's up to you to show him that you enjoy your life with or without him, and he shouldn't dictate every part of how you two should go about things.

What are your needs? What do you want? If it looks like he wants sex without a commitment or exclusivity, and you have a different outlook on things, let him know what your thoughts and needs are. You're important too, and what you want in a relationship counts. If a guy's not crazy about me from the get-go, I move on. I don't have time to wait around for him to "be ready." If he's not ready to date, then he should wait and be alone until he is fully ready.

He likes you, but he's not ready for another relationship yet. He is doing exactly what he said he would and being stand-offish.

It can take a while to get over a serious relationship of that duration. I would not expect him to be available to you during the time it will take. By the time he is over her, a lot could change as well so I don't think you should count on that either. I think you are better off having the least amount of expectations possible from him. If he contacts you, and you are fine with just seeing him occasionally on the side for a little bit of fun, then you can do that. Don't expect anything more than that for a long while though.

You should be filling up your free time with other friends, hobbies, and interests. If you want to see other guys as well, then you should feel free to do so.

Waiting around for him and wondering when he is going to contact you will only leave you feeling frustrated, though, since he will not be around much. If you think you are going to get emotionally attached and keep wanting more, it may be better to break off all contact with him and tell him he should check back in with you after he's had more time to move on from his past relationship.